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Well, I knew it was possible, but I was surprised when the dentist I went to today told me that she absolutely thinks my headaches are due in part to my eroding mercury fillings. Unfortunately, she also attributed my FOUR NEW (small) CAVITIES to that erosion. I also apparently have an unhinged jaw and clench my teeth at night.

“Have much stress in your life?” she asked.

Something nursing moms need to know is that it’s pretty easy to slip on your nutrition and have it (basically) leached from your own reserves to give to the halfling. So she told me that if she didn’t already know from my convo with the hygienist, she would have asked me immediately if I had been nursing simply from the calcification levels of my teeth. Which is not so much simply calcium, but the whole mineralization. She also mentioned that diets that are high in acidic foods will lead to serious depletion. (And, sadly, coffee, my bff, is crazy acidic. *sigh*) She was out of her handouts, but told me she’d send her nutrition info that lists the alkaline foods we need to eat most (I think a 70/30 ratio).

So there ya go. The first side of my mouth will be replaced at the end of August, the second after that. It’s a pretty intricate protocol to remove amalgams, and re-filling it all should be a penny. But, the good news (I guess) is that because I’m legitimately eroding, insurance will cover the replacements. I’d rather have gold [insert clever grille joke here, though it’s only my back molars] because it’s inert, but I’ll hopefully get porcelain or composite at least.

Not every dentist thinks mercury is a big deal. My roommate from college is a dentist and last I talked to him didn’t think it was a problem. Smart guy, I respect him in a lot of ways, but I gotta disagree here. So if you think you too might be interested, go to this site and search for a dentist near you. I saw the *only* one in KC. She has to go to St. Louis to get her teeth done.

Nuts, I tell ya. Why is this even a discussion? MERCURY BAD!

It’s raining on all of us, so don’t be that a-hole who parks right in front of the doors to the grocery store while leaving the kids in the car to go buy whatever you need.

It’s illegal on a couple counts, but during rush hour and a monsoon, it’s just rude.

I mean, seriously.

Well our un-AP scheme to sync the kids’ sleep schedules has paid of slightly [alliteration unintended]: Lo slept until 7:00 o’clock this morning! Woo hoo! And on a tangential sleep note, we got some Valerian (often used as a natural sedative) recently b/c Jon was having a hard time falling asleep. But the last two nights I took one in the hopes of crashing and getting a full deep REM sleep to catch up. It didn’t work. I’ve been waking up feeling like I’ve been dead and brought back to life; sore and headachey and all-around out of it. But the upside is I’ve been having some CRAZY dreams, and last night was pretty cool. I dreamed that John C. Reilly was directing a live-action Family Guy/superhero movie, complete with speeding train and some sort of Silver Surferish marathon runner. (Though I might have been confusing it with the Simpson’s animated movie coming out, b/c there was a little blond girl in it not unlike Lisa.)

At any rate I definitely need to get to the bottom of ze headaches and feeling tired. I go to the dentist on Friday and strangely, I’ve never in my life been so excited. I’m really hoping we can get on the ball to remove the mercury fillings and begin some cleansing (heh heh) of my body. In a goofy hippie kinda way, I really think I’ll feel better after I figure out what’s going on. I’ve been taking a B complex which has helped my bruising tremendously, but it still hasn’t effected the fatigue and headache. I’m just hoping I don’t test sensitive to gluten, ‘cuz I’ve been down the no-gluten road before, and it SUCKS. I’m sure I’ll have to give up a lot of things (beer) that I like to have (dessert) before I can feel better, so I’m hoping it will be worth it (skinny and energetic) to do.

I’ll keep you updated – aren’t you glad? 😉

This Jackson Pollock site is SO COOL.

Just don’t be a dummy like me and wait for the page to load. It’s there; just move your cursor, click the button and thank me later.

Unabashedly so. We finally joined 1999 by getting a DVR recently, and since reruns are blissfully being run on TWO (!) stations currently, I’ve already saved a couple hours worth.

[To now it hasn’t been possible to just buy the boxed set b/c apparently they’ve hit a licensing wall with all the music they use. Rumor is it will be solved soon, though. Keep your ear out for it.]

And since my DARLING DAUGHTER thinks it’s great fun to get up at FIVE FREAKING FORTY in the morning, I’ve had lots of time to veg on the couch and watch an episode or two before Jack wakes up and starts the chatter-train. This has been (somewhat sadly) a real highlight for me in the last week, b/c I still believe that show is one of the best series I’ve ever watched.

I think part of it is from growing up an only child in an apartment with my mom. Something about the dysfunctionally idyllic Arnold family was comforting to me. Jack Arnold was gruff like my grandpa (the only dependable father figure for me) and the storylines involving him meant the most to me. In retrospect I can see how a familial connection to a TV show (not to mention the father figure in my absent-father world) is really, really sad. But, well, that was my life then, and I didn’t know it was sad, y’know?

Years later I recognize the other reason I idolized the show is because the Arnold clan is very similar to my mom’s family (with obnoxious brothers and a hippie sister) dynamic. Mom’s family was my only real context for the word family, so I used that as the template I wanted in my future. I’m still imagining that when I think ahead.

I watched an ungodly amount of TV as a child (but I also inhaled books like oxygen, so I think it evens out) and of all the stupid things I watched (Punky Brewster? Kids Incorporated? Ugh.) I really think Wonder Years was good for me. Fred Savage has never grown out of dorkiness, but neither have I, and overall it was comforting during a less-than ideal childhood.

So see? TV isn’t all bad. I could have attached myself to The Simpsons or Married With Children, right?

(20 eternal bonus points to Sara for introducing me to I’m Alive in high school.)

I love rain. I LOVE dark, ominous clouds. It has to be some sort of void from growing up in Colorado, where there’s an average of 300 days of sunshine a year, I dunno. Maybe something’s going on physiologically with the barometric pressure, but I feel more vital? alive? the darker it is. I know that sounds dumb, but I don’t know how else to explain it. And I’m really not very adventurous by nature (spontaneous, yes, but not so much so that I can go the next level) but I always feel this strange.. vagabond itch when it’s cloudy. Since I first learned to drive I would get in the car and drive for hours and hours. I remember after a painful breakup in college I was home for the weekend when one of those heat-lightning storms came through. I found myself driving K-10 just to find the perfect place to get an unobstructed view. Everything about it I remember as powerful: the heat, the storm, my emotions. It’s a fierce memory.

And I’m sure most people associate cloudiness with contemplation and melancholy (after all, there’s a reason it’s the quintessential literary setting) but it really really gets me. In this stage of my life more than the past, I think, simply because I don’t have the luxury to get in the car and drive for hours. To wit: 10 seconds ago I argued with Jon b/c he wants me to get off the computer to watch a movie, and I want to continue writing a non-sensical blog prompted by the rain.

I feel like right now my thoughts are either on mind-numbing things like potty pooping or heavy things like autism, and I rarely get time to just be by myself in my head uninterrupted. In retrospect, although I always declare that I wouldn’t want to go back to any of my school days, the drama of my then-life seems so much more, well, melodramatic (yeah, imagine that) and safe. Like listening to old songs of whatever time you associate them, and tasting the memory for a bit in the insulation of your now. And that’s not totally true, I did experience some legitimately shitty things in college, but basically it was like a pseudo-real world, a terrarium of college kids living relatively similar lives. Aside from death, what happened to me personally was time-stamped to then, and since that time my reasons for melancholy have become real. My life feels real in this stage, though I know it took all the years before to get to it. And I am overwhelmingly glad to be here; I feel like I’m finally comfortable with myself (more-or-less). But sometimes, like when it’s cloudy and rainy, I just want to taste the simplicity of my old feelings and memories. I want to drive around, listening to Radiohead, smoking (which I don’t) and just being contemplative for the sake of it.

I thought they were smart for dating things 2038 (y’know, so that if I have to look for something in the bulk mail that might be legit, it takes many pages back to find it in the current date). But just now I had to go through my seriously-needs-to-be-cleaned out inbox to find the one ‘new’ email that ended up being dated 1904. Nineteen-oh-four.

That’s a new one.

That’s a picture of the Rocky Mountains up top, and it just makes me feel peaceful.

Ok. I’m sorry to jump around so much – I didn’t know this site existed until after I started blogspot (don’t tease me Tuck). But blogspot is pretty limited in what you can do, and the layouts were really hard to customize, so voila! I am here. Welcome.

Please stick around, come back and comment often. I enjoy blogging, and I really enjoy the feeling that it’s something that is All Mine.

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