Sometimes the worst* kind of days are the ones where you don’t plan to be grumpy, but are forced to by cosmic design.

I think it started with the cat puking quietly on the floor – but not in such a hidden area that I wouldn’t step in it while walking down the hallway. Or maybe the secret agreement the kids had for when they dropped their shared cookie at Target and tried to out-screech each other to my shocked mortification – specifically, of course, in front of a snotty girl from high school that was really popular and had her little perfectly behaved Gerber child sitting serenely and royally in their forward-moving cart. Do you know how tall the ceilings of Target are? Do you realize how much that means sound reverberates?

I suppose it could be the drivers who drove in front of me (both lanes, of course) going at least 7 under the speed limit – and then apparently were also at Target (surely), meandering through the aisles so that I was forced to swing my wildly left-pulling, broken wheeled cart back and forth to navigate them. Or MAYBE it’s when the bag ripped as I was heaving it into the back of my car and the bagels fell out on top of the chips (k-e-e-runch) and the cart guy tried to add my cart to the front of his magnetic mechanical line but I hadn’t grabbed Jack’s overnight diapers from the bottom of the cart yet, so I had to chase it and snag it before they, too, were smushed.

But damn it if in the end the kicker of it all is that my beloved Dave was irritating me with his non-semblance of organized song performing on one of his many live albums. Now usually I. Love. Dave. Matthews. And I am fully aware that if you own all his albums you are going to get a handful of his songs at least 13 times. Most of the time that’s cool – it’s a jam band, after all. But today I just needed some order, and 7 minutes of a flute bridge in ‘Say Goodbye’ was about 6 and a half too many.


*Ok. I have an ETA: Just now I was complaining to my mom and she stopped me with her own story of a trip to the store last week. Apparently her cart took off down a hill, went over the grassy embankment of a Taco Bell and upended itself in the middle of the drive through where her jar of tomato sauce exploded all over her groceries – in front of a growing line of cars. She totally wins. And sadly (though thankfully) I can NOT STOP LAUGHING at the image. So now I feel better, thanks ma. šŸ˜‰