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(Jack’s costume wasn’t that bad with the shirt on underneath, but when it was just the costume he looked.. like he needed some fake eyelashes and high heels; very female. I was giving Jon a hard time with the note. 😉 )


Happy Halloween, everyone!

But now it’s time for some wine and Heroes with Mr. Pimp. And I could have waited to say this but I wanted to give a late shout-out HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my favoritest New Yawkers. Much love to Sam and Misty.

I promise a wedding gift, uh, someday.

Forgetting to wear socks for your security check and walking barefoot a hundred feet in the Atlanta airport.

What’s grosser than that?

Having your left pinky-toe slide through something wet on the way. Yummo.


I’ll write more later if Lo naps during school.

Hooray for being home!

I’m nervous and sad and excited and my eyes burn a little from crying but hey! at least I thought ahead enough to put makeup on after Jon took the kids to the pumpkin patch.

It’s been 5 years since I traveled by myself. It was a business trip for work and I was newly pregnant. I don’t like to travel much, and this trip will be a gauntlet of incidences of stepping out of comfort zones. But that’s good. It’s been easy to cocoon myself these past few years, and I need to actually do these things All. By. Myself once in a while.

I’m sure once I get there, though, I’ll be stoked. 8:00am-10:00pm every day discussing baby cookin’ and deliverin’? That is a comfort zone for me.

So wish me happy and safe thoughts, and miss me terribly. See you next Monday!

I just wanted to add my name to the list of people praying for those affected by the wildfires.


(Picture courtesy of longboard_dood on flickr)

So I’ve really started enjoying Youtube Tuesdays – that site could suck entire periods of time from my life if I let it. And I always have a handful of things I debate about posting, so this week I’m just going to post some of my random favorites. Huzzah!

First is more Radiohead plugging. No, I’m not getting paid to promote them (yet). Last week I stumbled on to the ‘Street Spirit: Fade Out’, which is really a very pretty video (in all it’s artsy hauntingness). I was introduced to The Bends not very many months before my friend drowned in college, and though I didn’t know it at the time (I’m never good about figuring out lyrics) these words were chillingly prescient to the situation. This song is inexorably linked to that time because I played it over and over. Something about the repetitiveness seemed to stall the rush of feelings. I’m sure it didn’t, but really, this song was like a strange white noise to hide behind. It doesn’t make sense, and I know it drove my roommates crazy, but that’s what I remember. Oddly, it is probably my favorite song of theirs, hands down.


Next we have a great synopsis of my tied-for-first favorite movie: Goodwill Hunting. It’s set to the beautiful Elliott Smith – whose music basically soundtracked the movie. This was my introduction to my boyfriend, Matt, of course. And Matt/Ben-bashing aside, it’s an incredibly written (hello Oscar!) and acted (another Oscar!) movie. Don’t be a snob; go see it.


And finally, a skit from my favorite series on SNL: Celebrity Jeopardy. I laugh every single time I watch this. It’s where the world got ‘eleventybillion’. Sheer genius.

I can travel more easily if I pack lightly and not bring any sharp knives or objects through security. They also said that a book does not count as my carry-on item. Hoodilolly, that logic is earth shattering.

So I leave for Atlanta on Wednesday for that Bradley conference, and I’m swinging between excited and extremely sad. I don’t want to leave my bambinos, though I know they’re going to love being with Daddy Awesome.

Part of it is because Jack is going through a phase where he thinks he is ‘scary’ of everything (the wind, thunder, the hippo under his bed) and he’s been crawling in bed with us, snuggling in and stage-whispering his goodnights. I treasure this time with him because he has never been a very cuddly child, and his hugs and kisses are quick and few. So I get to curl my arm across his chest and feel his little heart and breath move. I’m humbled by the fact that I often have to let go of the parenting-reigns with him (even if that reason is not necessarily my fault or his, but just is), so having these moments of quiet gives me the freedom to just love on him without restriction. Probably because he’s asleep, but it’s an innate mothering I haven’t been able to do for him since he was too little to tell me otherwise.

I’m also sad to leave my little cuddle monkey. My early-rising FARTKNOCKER whose damn internal clock hasn’t reset from Standard Zombie Time yet, and is still calling for breakfast at four-fricken-a.m. The little koala who somehow figured out she gets all my extra Jack-momminess as a spillover. She charms everyone she meets, but don’t be fooled: she’s no dummy. Woe is the person who dares cross her.

I love her so much I miss her when she naps.

So after a cozy night with everyone in the bed I woke up today feeling somewhat weepy at the thought of leaving my beloved family for four long, sad days. My primary role right now is Mommy, and this has been the majority of my identity the last few years.

But then the internet wouldn’t connect and Jack refused to change out of his pajama top that smelled like pee (because his night-diaper had spillethed over again) and Lorelei was screeching because the cat was batting at her pacifier and I couldn’t find my watch because I forgot it was apparently living in the pantry and the dog wouldn’t go outside because he’s a hundred-plus Rottweiller ninny that’s afraid of rain and the other cat ran out to the garage and hid under the car even though I was late and I half-considered just taking the risk of running over the plant-pooping little creep and when I talked to the IDIOTS AT AT&T Jack was on one side hollering ‘Mommy press the blue button to get to Noggin’ and Lorelei was on the other calling for more pizza while she waved a piece in each fist and though I tried so hard to keep my new white t-shirt clean I still somehow managed to dribble pumpkin coffee all over the freaking sleeve but WORST of all is the broken blood blister I got on my lip when I tried to kiss Lo during a tantrum and she reared back and gave me a head-butt*.


So I think on second thought I’ll probably be fine on my own for a few days.


*I bet that was the most heinous run-on sentence of all time. Take that, Faulkner.

So I was reading the Yahoo front page just now and saw an article where a NY lawyer is suing her wedding florist for $400,000 for a botched job. Now assuming what she states is true, I too would be pissed. Things like this really can all-but ruin a wedding (if you forget the main caveat that marrying the person you supposedly love should outweigh any wedding mishaps). And I’d especially be furious if I demanded a refund of $4,000 and was ignored.

But to then turn around and ask for $400,000 in damages when the flowers themselves only cost merely $27,000 seems a bit disproportionate, no? I mean, I won’t get into the consumerism of such events where one can spend $27,000 on flowers, but c’mon. Four hundred thousand? That’s seems so unworthy as to be embarrassing.

Who knows, maybe I’m just jealous that I can’t even conceptualize having enough money that these numbers are normal to spend. But surely even to the megalorich that would be ostentatious, right?

What’s the point? I don’t think this person looks powerful. Just superficial.

It’s October 20th.

Fall started a month ago.

It was 45° the other night and now it’s 81°.

Could you just make a decision already? My closet’s confused.

What does NY Fashion Week have on us?


That’s right. Nothing.

Who else rides the non-matching, ill hat-fitting, daddy shoe-wearing, paci hoarding train but us?

I understand why you’re jealous. This is how we roll.

Ever feel like someone has taken a cheese grater and gone EEEE-ERRR across the back of your throat? Yeah, me too. Yesterday I took 12 grams of sodium ascorbate (a form of Vit C), which is, I think, a hundred and twenty times more than the RDA’s measely 100mg daily.

Re-dickarus that daily allowance is. That amount does almost nothing for you, much less if you need to heal something. Whatever.

So, I just got back from Jack’s first parent-teacher conference of the year. I find it embarrassingly affirming for me to go to these things and have PROFESSIONALS tell me wonderful things about him. I firmly believe every parent knows their child best, but the one thing that has been the hardest with this whole dang journey is blindly going along with no idea how to navigate it. Usually I’ll research forty different views on any subject and finally stop, leap with a decision, and say ‘well shit, I hope this works.’ I’m sure a lot of parenting is like that, but with autism we have NO (zilch, none, nada) comparison for whether we’re succeeding. Lots of two-forward-one-back kinda thing.

It’s also hard for me to accept that for now, the single best place for Jack is in the school system. I have such excitement thinking about homeschooling, but I know that I simply can’t teach him the social skills he needs. Even homeschool co-ops would not be sufficient. And he’s leaping and bounding so much that I just resign myself to pushing the idea back a few years.

We talked about kindergarten today, and how academically he was ready long ago, but socially he needs to work on a couple concrete ideas (following directions in a group setting, listening fully in a group setting and basic back-and-forth conversation) before we should consider it. He’ll turn 5 in April, so there’ll be no shame if we wait a year (not that there would be anyway, but you know what I mean). We’ll decide then if keeping him in the pre-school will be more beneficial or detrimental. We talked about how his receptive language (hearing and processing) is still fairly behind his expressive language (talking, basically) and when we get it a little bit closer to even, it will be easier to make the decision. They noted the same thing I see all the time, which is that often if Jack will slow down enough, when you speak to him you can almost *see* the wheels turning to process what you’re saying. It breaks my heart to take for granted the instantaneousness with which I can think, and know he has to do it slowly and carefully. It’s not insurmountable, but it’s a sizable issue.

There was one particular thing that almost made me cry. His Speech Pathologist (who is beloved in our home) told me that all kids on the spectrum are different and incomparable, but the positive qualities Jack has are above the majority of the ASD kids she usually works with. And she said partially she attributes that to how Jon and I parent. She’s noticed that instead of focusing on the limitations of the diagnosis (a trap I recognize) Jon and I still have high expectations of him, and treat him as normally as possible.

Sounds obvious, but until you have a child that you look at with a special lens, you have no idea what a compliment that is.

So yeah, this was a nice visit for me.

Yes, yes, we’ll get there. First, I want to show you the Halloween costume I’m considering after Lo’s 5 hour nap yesterday.

(Except hers wasn’t a bender, just some garlic mullein oil spilling out of her ears.)

fall-011.jpg noltemug.jpg

Nice, right? We have a Hawaiian shirt she could wear, too.


OK. So today’s Youtube Tuesday installment is a blooper montage for The Office. For those British purists or cavepeople who haven’t yet jumped on this bandwagon – do it. Now. Rainn Wilson’s Dwight Shrute character surely must be one of the funniest ever created. Ever.

So while browsing around on one of the pages listed over thar <—- I found a blogroll you can join simply for having imperfect vision. As instructed, I edited a picture of me and Numero Uno to add to the blogroll (it’s funky to mask the lovely food I have in my teeth. I’m all about trying to be as hip as possible within my nerdiness; surely you understand.).

Hopefully it will be included. If not, check it out anyway by clicking on ze glasses.



ETA: Uh, I meant the 3-D glasses on the left. Not in my picture, unless you all are checking the teeth. In which case, gross.

Lo-speak for ‘good morning’. But again, our day with Lorelei started at 3:45, so really, at this point it’s mid-afternoon, right? Hrumph.

Yah, hullo. How is everyone? Our weekend was pretty low-key. Saw some friends, watched some football, but mostly veged. Lo had a fever off-and-on all weekend, and is in full-on snot mode (aren’t you glad you read a mom’s blog?). Jack, though, seems to be, again, the healthiest member of the family. He has a cough when he first wakes up, but then nothing after, really. And secretly, sometimes I wish he could get even a mild cold, so that he would come down a notch or two. Not get really sick – just not climb the walls and use his VERY LOUD EXUBERANT VOICE for maybe a day or two.

And other than that and watching our Cats redeem themselves (eat ’em up!), I’ve mostly been listening to my newest favoritest album. Although, I do have to add, I am really beginning to feel disconcerted that Thom York(e)’s voice is reminding me of the creepy old guy from Family Guy. Really, that can totally ruin a song, so I’m trying desperately not to let it.

So that’s about it as a weekend recap. (Hmmm.. my Monday posts always seem to be sort of unorganized, huh? Oh well.) But I do have one last thing: Jon and I were discussing an accident I had when we were first married, and I want to ask a question for everyone to answer if you could por favor.

The winter of ’00/’01 KC had a string of nasty ice storms, and during one of them I was headed to a friend’s house late and was on a gravel road with a pretty steep incline. I didn’t realize there was – I think they said – 6 inches of ice on that road, so as I went down the hill, I lightly put on the brakes in preparation for the stop sign at the bottom. Well, immediately I started sliding towards the edge of the road, where I then tipped over and slid upside-down into the ravine about 20 feet. I was able to call 911 but was trapped in the crushed car for almost half an hour until someone came and opened up the back door and pulled me out.

Great story, right? Yeah, it sucked A LOT. But here’s what I want to know: When the car was beginning to slide, it was only going maybe 10-15 miles an hour. It felt like eternity as I glided gracefully over. And I joke now that I probably could have gotten out and run circles around the car before getting back in. Yet some people have alluded that they would have actually had the wherewithal to get out. So I want to know if people (you all, currently) really could think ahead to do that. If it’s an ice storm and your car begins to slide, do you think you would just hop out so you don’t go over with it? I won’t be offended whatever you say, I promise, but I guess I just don’t see how anyone instinctively thinks they would get out of a moving car. And I know it’s hard to imagine if you’re not really there, but I’m curious nonetheless.

It’s not a really important question, obviously. But I’m just wondering. I know next time I might be more apt to risk it, that’s for sure.

So lemme know if you have an opinion, and I hope you have a great day. Ciao!

Just an announcement that Lorelei has officially discovered the tasty goodness of her boogers, and is STOKED that this apparently is a renewable resource, having checked her nose multiple times during the drive home just now to see if there was another surprise snack.




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