Things I could tell you about for this stupid NaBloPoMo:

I finally got my head out of the sand and have started some therapy. Things are currently both more clear and much more difficult for me. I’m really not liking that she’s pulling out some old things I’d like to stay buried, but I think it probably is necessary. It takes courage to do this stuff, and I’m not always sure I’ve got enough in supply.

I can admit to you how much I want to eviscerate this man; how primal the feeling is. But I acknowledge that if mental health really is in question, it can’t wholly be black and white, no matter how disloyal that seems to that innocent girl.

I can tell you how much that song I posted a few days ago actually makes my heart hurt, even though I don’t connote it with any particular situation – it’s just that beautiful of a song to me. And again, I don’t understand people who don’t like music. It’s completely antithetical to me.

I can talk about how my next birthing mama called me yesterday with what ended up being false contractions, and I couldn’t go with her to check it out, and I felt like a horrible doula. It’s been a long time since I’ve attended a birth, and I’m so ready for this one. Birth is miraculous, and everything comes down to simply that.

I can remind you that today Jack starts riding the bus home, and even though it’s only a block and he’s been in ‘school’ for two years now, the thought makes me cry. He is my baby. My almost-Kindergarten-aged sweet boy, and he’s riding a school bus. It’s inexorably linked to growing up in my mind.

I could attempt to describe the stupidly-delicious burgers we had last night when Brandon came to watch some more Wire, but words fail me. Best burger ever, I promise. Really. I told him I was going to steal the recipe and add it to my three-dish repertoire.

Likewise, this song played on rotation during dinner, and has been in my head since.

Polyphonic Spree’s “Light & Day/Reach for the Sun”

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So that about sums up what’s on my brain today.

Have a good day everyone. 😉

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