Things Lorelei has done in the past week:

– Drank from the gallon of vinegar, like it was a jug of moonshine

– Splashed around in a clogged urinal

– Ate dirt out of the plant

– Licked my deoderant

– Dug dirt out of the windowsill, drew on the glass, then ate it off her finger.

– Ate my lipstick, after putting it on her cheeks so pretilly

-Chewed on a straw piece that broke off the broom