You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2008.

This was supposed to be as cool as Misty’s, whom I straight stole the idea from. HOWEVER, WordPress doesn’t support the format this is originally in, so I had to do some elementary picture-making/editing just to get it fuzzy on here. BECAUSE I’M ALL ABOUT THE PRESENTATION, DAMNIT.

So please be amazed because that was a pain in the ass.

Thank you.


(P.S. I’ll let you know when those meds kick in.  😉 )

Lorelei: Sidusler sqjeklru wcsersdlfjwl!

Me: What honey?

Lorelei: Tsdser serkfjwulc

Me:…You want grubs?

Lorelei: Yeah! Gwubs!


Apparently The Hoff took Bradley when his wife was preggers. And somehow, sadly, that makes teaching this even cooler than knowing Keifer Sutherland is a Bradley brat.


Jack: Are you excited about going to the wedding with Maggie next Friday?

Me: Uh.. there’s no wedding next Friday, honey.

Jack: Well why not?

Me: We don’t know anyone getting married.

Jack: You don’t have any friends?

Me: Yes, we have friends. But none of them are getting married next Friday.

Jack: Well how about Saturday?

Me: Honey, there are no weddings for us to go to anytime soon.

Jack: Well Maggie has a headache, and baby Miles throwed, so she’ll feel better before we go on the plane to the wedding next Friday. We’ll eat hyper ice cream and it will be so much fun!

Me: Whatever you say, goober.

Jack: You stay home while Daddy and Lorelei and Jack goes on the boat to the wedding.

Me: Sounds like a plan!


YTT: Proof that my boyfriend is psychic as well.

Damn but I’m a yapper.

[First tangent: This is awesome. Tell me again why they get to host?]

So I just realized it’s been almost a week since I posted last. And it’s funny to me that that seems like a long time if I think of it in that measurement, but not if I just think back to being busy. C’est la vie and all that, eh? That and I’m sure I was thinking I’d write when I had some sort of thoughtful commentary to share. Snort.

We’re planning a float trip for this weekend, so we’re trying to get organized for that. I’m finding it funny how you can get a group of educated adults together and the details of such a seemingly uncomplicated trip (a tent, some grub, some beer and you float down a river – doesn’t require a passport or even coherent thought, actually) manage to have us all running around crashing into each other in confusion. An event planner I am not, that I know for sure now. The only preparation I’ve been doing is drinking crappy beer leftover from kickball games as a warning to my system.

THAT SAID, I think maybe my summer has been filled with a tad too many parties and a tad too few vitamins. Or maybe just nourishment in general.  I counted yesterday and I literally have 30 bruises on my legs. I’ve had two people ask me honestly if I’m being beaten b/c of the bruises on my arms. It’s baaaaaaaaad. And I’ve tried to up my B’s, but it’s more than that too. When I looked on the interwebs, the causes included weight loss (check), vitamin deficiency (assumed), extended periods of stress (check) and blood disorders (uh.. let’s not go there yet). Need to step up and take care of myself, I know. I’m on it.

THAT SAID, (ahh I never get tired of my own cleverness) I took the dive and started some antidepressants this weekend. And as a disclaimer, I’m not an elitist about those at all, I think they can be necessary when all other avenues have been tried first or in tandem. But the truth is that it was really hard to break the seal that said GlaxoSmithKline on it. I have no shame in admitting my life is stupidly complicated for me right now, but I do about having to dig into the pharma candy bag. I didn’t even know how to fill my script, it’s been so long. But, that’s the kind of pride-swallowing even I am rolling my eyes at, so it’s all good. And of course the fun part is that months after we decided to lower our insurance coverage (since we don’t go to the doctor enough to warrant paying the extra hundred some-odd dollars a month) I finally need the insurance. Cost of these little happy pills per month? $140. Nice. I bet E is cheaper than that.

In other news, I watched two episodes of Hopkins and am now boycotting it. The first yanked my heartstrings when it followed a toddler getting a heart transplant. But yay! he survived and all the tears turned happy in the end. But the second one followed the family of a little girl who essentially drowned, and the entire world was privy to everything from the mother’s vomiting reaction to the decision of taking her off life support. Personally I thought it was vile and reprehensible, not to mention the worst kind of voyeurism. That’s private and unimaginable grief, and to know it was shown on television for no purpose other than to show what it’s like to work in a hospital is mind boggling. When I think of my friend’s death, I can’t even imagine cameras being there. I personally would have broken it if someone filmed what was thus far one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. I just simply think that is twisted. I know Hopkins is not the first show to do this, but I can’t believe it’s done in general, and on a major network. I dunno. I feel the same way about coverage of funerals. That’s beyond macabre to me. Ok, end rant.

[Hmm. What a downer post this is sounding like. Odd, since I’m not feeling that way currently. Guess the meds haven’t kicked in enough yet, ha!]

Ok, I think that’s about all I can think of. I didn’t finish my book club book, but it bored me, so I’ll go with that as the excuse. I’m seeing Dark Knight officially tomorrow – on IMAX! Woot! – so I’m sure I’ll be jonesing to discuss it on Wednesday. Lo’s still the cutest damn thing ever and Jack’s new thing is to yell with his mouth in an O shape and call it whistling. It’s greeeeaaaat!

I’ll leave you with a happy song. It’s not new (Timbaland’s ‘Way I Are’), but I finally snagged it, and Meg and I danced to it for like, an hour this weekend. Because yes, we are actually that dorky.

Ciao, friends.

Hola, how is everyone? It will be another stupidly hot day here in the middle of America, so I’m going to take dinner to cook on the sidewalk when we’re at the park today. Sigh. I hate summer. YES, I DO.

So I saw Rosemary’s Baby recently. I’d always heard it was creepy as hell, but I have to say I was surprisingly (especially for me, an avowed scary movie avoider) unfrightened. Sure the premise is fascinating and plausible enough. But maybe because it was filmed in the 60s – thus for me ruining the idea of suspension of disbelief needed – or because I can’t relate to the idea of protagonists that annoyingly naive, but I couldn’t get into it. Virtually every character seemed farcical to me, so I was interested throughout, but aside from a few moments of suspense, I was not affected. And the scene at the end where she makes her final discovery was almost laughable to me, really. I mean, COME ON! And I say all this as someone with no elitism about films, so I’ll go ahead and put out there that maybe I’m the one missing something if all the film buffs I’ve ever met loved it. I like the way Polanski set up some of the shots, and the clothing/setting/makeup was great, but the rest was very eh to me. Anyone agree or disagree? What’s your favorite scary movie?

Let’s see.. Mmm haven’t seen Dark Knight yet, so I’d appreciate if everyone on earth could hold off a little longer to discuss it so I can join in, mkay? Especially because of this article about Christian Bale possibly assaulting his mother and sister. I don’t know, but I refuse to believe it. I dig Mr. Bale, and I don’t want that ruining my experience. Bah.

I have 6 days to read Reading Lolita in Tehran before my book club. It’s my challenge to do it.

And finally, the youtube installment for today is The Tiny’s ‘Closer’.

Ok, all the rambling I have for today. Happy Tuesday, friends.

Got this from a gal on my parenting board. Never heard of him, but I think it’s pretty clever.

Running for Office: It’s Like A Flamewar with a Forum Troll, but with an Eventual Winner

Britney Spears has agreed to K-Fed having sole custody

Could make me cry if I thought about it long enough, but surely that has to be for the best.

Voters to decide on naming sewage plant after Bush


HIV vaccine trial canceled

Hm. I could write an entire post on this alone, and it wouldn’t be all rant. However this whole thing is particularly fraught with blurred ethical lines. If I thought they could create a vaccine whose efficacy rate was high enough, the benefit could outweight my usual concerns with possible long-term consequences of the vaccine itself and I’d squarely place this one in the grey area. However, like the story mentions, thus far it’s been a catastrophe, and previous trials have given recipients the virus. I respect the fact that the scientists are admitting they don’t know enough about how HIV changes the immune system, but I also know it’s just a CYA for Merck, who funded the last study. Wolf in sheep’s clothing and all that. Either way, I’m interested to keep up on this, because this isn’t in the same ridiculous category as say, chicken pox.

Emmys snub Wire *again*

I am honestly offended. And in the words of my favorite leader Cedric Daniels, I think this is BULLshit.

Rick Reilly’s an overpaid, under-qualified shlock writer and I can’t wrap my brain around why anyone likes him.

That’s all.

These are more for posterity than entertainment for you all. (Though if you know Jack, these are much funnier when you can imagine his loud and fairly monotonous voice.)

Me: Hey, hand me the clicker so I can turn off the television.

Jack: It’s called a ‘remote’ Mom.

Jack: Look over there!

Me: <looking the wrong direction because I’m driving and didn’t look back>

Jack: <sighing loudly and patronizingly> No, honey, look at where my finger is pointing if you want to see what I’m talking about.

Jack: <yelling across pool (lifejacket strap snaps between his legs)> THIS SEATBELT IS HURTING MY P____ AND BOTTOM! I’M GOING TO LOOSEN IT TO GIVE MY P____ MORE ROOM!

Jack: <yelling across the pool after I’d hurried over to talk about telling me things quietly> HEY MOM I’M PRACTICING BEING QUIET. DO YOU HEAR ME PRACTICING BEING QUIET? DO YOU HEAR ME MOM? SHHH YOU NEED TO BE QUIET, MOM. YOU NEED TO PRACTICE BEING QUIET LIKE I AM. OK.

Still pushing this group, Frightened Rabbit. Love them, kids. LOVE. THEM. They’re simply amazing and the newest album is my current soundtrack.

Is that you, in front of me, coming back for even more as I’ll be the same.

Well you must be, a masochist, to love a modern leper on his last leg.

I am ill, but I’m not dead – and I don’t know which of those I’d prefer.

Because that limb, which I have lost, it was the only thing holding me up.

Holding me up..

Worth mentioning, I promise. The last time I attempted oatmeal cookies I messed up, surprisingly, and they were bland concrete discs. I seemed to remember that it was b/c I didn’t have an ingredient I needed (or substituted a different sweetener that didn’t bake as well, who knows) so this time I made sure to – wait for it – plan ahead. I looked online for a ‘thin and crispy’ recipe and rounded up the kids for help. After lots of spoon licking and one-in-the-mouth-two-in-the-bowl raisin distribution, the cookies ended up fat and chewy instead. But they taste good, so I’ll take it. I’ve now graduated 1st grade cooking class.

[Total tangent: Let’s take a gander at Brandi’s post, which had the desired effect of making the cookie come back up just a little in my mouth. You’re a clever girl – wait, I mean old lady – but I would like to submit this as an equal entry. (Bring on the Sinbad, H.Pimp.)]

So, how is everyone? Jon’s going out of town next week for a work lake trip (rough, ain’t it?) and so this weekend was completely Jen-centric. On Friday I went to a country concert with my friend Tami.

I don’t listen to country, so the bands themselves were innocuous mostly. But after a couple hours in the sun, the beer began to soften the shock of all the mullets, rebel flags and ill-fitting jeans. And don’t get me wrong, I have a long-standing love for some of my college cowboy friends, but most of the people at this concert were.. uh..

Well it was fun hanging out with Tami. 😉


Saturday I went for coffee with the girls I’m friends with on the cul-de-sac. I’m glad I made it this month because I’ve missed many of our summer Driveway Drinks recently. I’ve just been a hermit, and it was good to catch up. My good friend across the street had her baby while we were in CO, and I finally got to see him. I LOVE squishy little newborns.

Last night I went to a birthday party with Megatron, and later we met up with her friends – one of whom I knew because he used to work with Jon. KC is so much smaller than you think, I swear.

(I know the angle is dizzying. It’s worse the other direction. I have no idea how this picture was taken.)

Finally, after some cuddly time with the halflings today, we’re going to meet up another family for dinner tonight. And including some overdue phone calls, this has been a really happy weekend for me. I need people almost as much as air, and I know that If I don’t get my head out of my arse and start keeping up my friendships, I’ll lose them. So those of you who think you’re in that camp, hear me say I know that. Playdates, emails and phone calls will be forthcoming, I promise.

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you had a great weekend.


I love you so much. You are such an adorable little fartknocker.

I love that you wake me up by sticking your finger up my nose. Or kicking me in the ribs. Or just randomly yelling I BREFESS MOMMY GIT UP!

I love that you not only aren’t afraid of bugs, but that you will squat your little chubby self down to try and catch them. And eat them, usually.

I love that the pacifier is going to be a real hassle to get rid of. That you have 129 days until your third birthday, when the fairy takes them to all the new babies in the world. Enjoy it now, princess.

I love how you will take a running start to headbutt someone. That your pinches leave bruises and that you can effectively clothesline Jack to the floor. We don’t call you Earthmover and Cagefighter for no reason.

I love that you’ll lay your head down on my shoulder. You are my snuggly bear.

I love that when you are tired, you’ll just go to bed. And often give goodnight kisses to everyone in the house – guests and all.

I love that you change your clothes eleventynine times a day, and refuse to listen that jumpers need a shirt on underneath. Your shoes are often mismatched, and really, why not?

I love that you have been trying harder to sit on the potty, and will hold still for two and a half songs before running away cackling. However you don’t take kindly to the idea that we don’t wear potties. This is not really a why not, though. It’s a definite why.

I love you because it can never be said you’re boring. Or quiet.

Mostly I just love you because you are one of the best things I’ve ever done.

And I dig being your mommy.

Whaddyamean you don’t want me to house-sit for you? I’m Martha Stewart!

… on crack, apparently.

Random story: Yesterday at the gym I saw my aerobics teacher from high school. Her name is Ms. Zyrbl, but we all just called her miserable. (She told a girl in my class once that she wouldn’t look like a whale if she would just work harder. Seriously.) And I find it appropriate and Pavlovian that I immediately ran faster when I recognized her. But more than that, I laughed when I remembered that she gave my best friend and I a pad of signed passes so that we could get out of 5th hour study hall every day for an extended lunch. Apparently she remembered that also, because when she crossed in front of me, she smiled and winked. Or she just approved of my pace. Either way it was a fun memory.

Also, here’s a really cool montage of portraits of women in Western Art. Take 3 minutes of your day and watch it.

Finally, today’s youtubetuesday installment is a new one by Sigur Ros. I can’t spell it so you’ll have to check for yourself how it’s done – in Icelandic. But it’s cool and is not helping Thom Yorke much.


(I really shouldn’t become a professional writer. Who gets writer’s block for a freaking BLOG?)

Hmm. Let’s see. Random thoughts in no order:

  • Happy birthday again, Sammy-me-love. Hope you and your beautiful wife had a great weekend.
  • I am so excited for this I’m giddy. I think I might try the IMAX. I read a cool article in Wired that talked about Christopher Nolan’s ideas on it all, and I think it’ll kick ass. RIP, Heath. I hope if you get an Oscar nod/win, that it’s for the right reasons.
  • Went to the T-Bones game this weekend. Such a fun (and cheap!) alternative to the Royals. Would be great for a date, or with the whole fam.
  • Into Andrew Bird lately. Here’s Skin, Is My
  • We visited my great-uncle this weekend, and I couldn’t stop looking at the huge folder on the back of his front door that said clearly “FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE REV. FRANCIS – DNR”. I mean, I wholeheartedly respect his wishes, and given that he’s uh, significantly older and not in the best of health, I think it’s not unwise to do that – especially if you’re a priest. But still. How incredibly macabre is that to have DNR staring at you all day? Ugh. Sorry. I don’t mean to sound glib. It was just incredibly disconcerting..
  • Jack’s newest word is ‘disgusting’ (disgussing, really). He likes to call everything disgusting – from water on the concrete to the dog taking a nap to his carrots. We need to work on it a bit, methinks.
  • Still looking to get rid off the asshat cat. Any takers now that he’s all fixed up? Eh? EH?
  • Lately Lorelei likes to sit on your lap and while innocently staring at you with big brown eyes leans in and tries to pluck your eyelashes off. Sweet girl, this one.

Well, I think that’s about all the brainpower I have today. I hope everyone had a great long weekend. Feel free to tell me what you did – miss you out-of-towners!

Man, I was just complaining yesterday about people who have pointless blogs that are just random updates on what they do everyday (unless it’s one of those blogs that are meant as long-distance familial connections. They’re excluded from my unfair elitism) but I am absolutely turning into one of those people. Heh. Thus, today’s pointless post is about teeeveee.

It’s funny to me that as soon we joined – oh, 1998 – by getting DVR (in 2007), I stopped watching television for the most part. And I’ve never been a TV snob, because if nothing else I think the Discovery/science channels are cool as hell. (That and Jack learned much of his early language from scripting shows, so, uh, bite me.) But I was fairly good about making sure I wasn’t a total couch potato also, b/c I know it can make your brain mush.

But then we got what I thought would be the best technology ever, and now I have backlogs of shows that I don’t think I’ll ever watch. Maybe part of it was the strike, but I just don’t care anymore for some reason. Whenever I do finally sit down to watch something, I just don’t feel like it – though sweet Mary I love hurrying through commercials. Plus, we’ve also finally joined Netflix (I am woefully and often regretfully stubborn about advancement) and I think that has something to do with my abandonment.

But mostly, I think I’m finally just growing out of some shows, like the Real World, for instance. It bores me now like watching reruns of 90210* bores me, though I once spent nights crammed in a dorm room to watch that (WHOOPS! DATED MYSELF!). And don’t get me wrong, I love the stupid competition shows on MTV- minus the dating ones but including that newest dance one – but otherwise they just don’t interest me anymore. Which is probably about time..

[Finally interested in politics and admitting that Real World sucks? This previously would have been akin to filling out my AARP application, I swear.]

So I dunno. I guess I’ll just stick to my beloved HBO. Aside from rare mistakes (like that John From Cincinnati one or whatever) they’ve succeeded every time. Our newest watch is Deadwood. I was a little reticent at first, b/c the first episode was dirty and foul in every sense, but I quickly became hooked. What can I say, I’m a sucker. And since we’re watching it tonight with friends, I’ll share the song I was sent today to get excited, which consequently began my half-thoughtful reflection of recent viewing habits:

And I’m not so sure I’m quite as in love with DW as I was The Wire *sigh*, but I’ll let you know. Next up is 30 Rock, since it’s been on my to-watch for a while, and Jen-nay’s adoration sealed the deal. So besides HBO (and Fox cult favorites), if anyone has any suggestions for other shows, let me know.


*Fear not when I say though that I will absolutely be watching whatever reunion show they haul together. 😉

Sorry kids. It’s hard trying to be profound everyday. Especially when your brain drooled out your ear when your daughter kicked you in the head to wake you up this morning. SO, here’s a survey stolen from Misty (via Jamie via someone else, I’m guessing. Though someone had to have created these originally. So maybe props stop with Jam.).

1. Favorite hobby?

Um. Reading, I s’pose.

2. How do you feel about your ex?

Fine. I don’t really feel anything.

3. Do you own guns?

No. But I’m not wholly against them, either.

4. What flavor do you usually drink at Sonic?

Eh. I don’t like Sonic much, but I guess the cherry limeade?

5. Do you get nervous before doctor’s appts?

Not really.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

I think they’re foul unless I’m at a baseball game or camping.

7. Favorite Christmas song?

O Holy Night

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

A big ole mug of coffee, with lots of milk and sweetness added.

9. Can you do push ups?

I can. Maybe a dozen or so.

10. Can you do a chin up?

Ugh. I doubt it.

12. Do you like blue cheese?


13. Ever been in a car wreck?

Ha. Yes. The real question is how many ambulances have I had called for my wrecks.

14. Do you have ADD?

Only when listening to songs.

15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?

I’m lazy. And shamefully ignorant in war history – so I discovered during a painful game of Trivial Pursuit last week.

16. Middle name?


17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.

My 16 y/o cousin schooled me in Trivial Pursuit.

I really need to make some coffee.

The air blowing from the vent on my arm is pissing me off.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.

Pop, drinks, chicken

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink.

Coffee, water, beer

20. Current worry?

Ahhh. Let me count the ways..

21. Current hate right now?

Uh. The only things I can think of off the top of my head are slow drivers and the fact that I saved my stupid cat’s life, and now I just want to kill him.

22. How did you bring in the new year?

Eating sushi and hanging with friends. It was fun.

23. Where would you like to be right now?

Either getting a massage or taking a nap in the mountains. Maybe both.

24. Do you like bok choy?

I don’t know.

25. Do you own slippers?

No. My feet get hot easily, so the most I’ll wear around the house is socks in the winter.

26. What shirt are you wearing?

A soft t-shirt that says Tree Hugger.

27. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?

Sure. But not if I have satiny jams on, b/c then they’d get all twisted up and annoying.

28. Can you whistle?


29. Could you be a pirate?

Uh. What?

30. What songs do you sing in the shower?

Whatever’s in my head.

31. Favorite girl’s name

Lorelei Elizabeth

32. Favorite boy’s name

Jacoby Ryan

33. What’s in your pocket?

No pockets on yoga pants.

34. Last thing that made you laugh?

A conversation on chat.

35. Best bedsheets as a child?

No idea.

36. Worst injury you ever had?

Knocked my kneecap off to the side, and then had to pop it back on. That hurt like a beyotch. More than childbirth, in fact.

37. Do you like where you live?


38. How many TVs in the house?


39. Who is your loudest friend?

Andy Backhus

40. Favorite book?

To Kill a Mockingbird. I swear.

41. Favorite sports team?

Mmm. Wildcats and the Avs from a few years ago.

42. Song you want played at your funeral?

It changes daily. I have a hundred songs.

43. Favorite candy?


44. Does someone have a crush on you right now?

My cat thinks I am the sun and the moon. Too bad I want to give him away for being annoying.

45. What is the first thing you thought of this morning?

Damn. She just kicked me in the head.



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