You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2008.
Welp, my ability to come up with post ideas has officially dried up methinks. The only interesting thing I can think to say is that I need to get a day planner, b/c I actually have a ‘schedule’ now. Things are falling into place at work, the kids are falling into place at our daycare lady, we’re hitting a groove with the bus and therapy and kindy, and… that’s it.
I can say that I am (secretly and guiltily) excited to come home every day to a relatively clean house. It’s amazing how even someone who would never call themselves a neat-freak feels peace at things not looking like a tornado ripped through. My time management has clicked into place, and I feel like I did in college when I was on the crew team and had to plan ahead for things like laundry and term papers and even showering to be honest (hence my feeling like I want a day planner – though not for showering, obviously). I’m one of those who need structure and deadlines to be the most efficient.
I enjoy my 10 minute drive listening to music – that is probably in my top-three favorite things to do – and the busy work I do at the office. It’s literally mindless paper and computer work, but it’s sweet relief because there is ZERO pressure for me. I can wear jeans and flip flops and a hat (and often do) and the ladies I work with are funny and easy to get along with – which is good considering we’re crowded into a room that should not have 4 desks, a copier, two printers and three file cabinets. I like it.
[There is however a micromanaging bosshole currently skulking around since we’re getting ready to move buildings, but he’ll lose interest again and go back to hoarding his dollar bills eventually. Have I mentioned my feelings for this guy yet? Huh. Remind me to tell you someday..]
Today was the very first day my heart broke, though. Lo was tired, so when I pulled into the driveway of our daycare lady’s house, she burst into tears. I cuddled with her when we got inside, and she was happy again in two minutes flat – waving over her shoulder to me as she ran off – but it was enough to tap into the guilt all parents (though truthfully mamas more, I honestly believe) feel when you’re leaving your child for someone else to care for. And I know that it’s only for like.. 5 hours a day. And that she loves the gal and the kids at the house, and she’s old enough and ready for a preschool-type environment. But I chose to stay home initially to avoid this very sadness. So, I bawled like a moron for a bit on the way to work, got it out of my system, and went about my day. And considering how well my kids have taken the transition like champs, I know that that’s getting off easy. Shrug.
Besides, she’s been there a little over a week and the other little girls there have all-but potty trained her. And our day care lady (I hate to minimize her by not giving her a name, so I think I’ll start calling her Day Care Goddess in lieu of that, for pronoun props.) is an awesome mother who serves organic food and doesn’t bat at an eye at my crunchy leanings or autistic child. She’s the bomb.
And.. that’s it. I’m reading a couple books, am almost finished with the show Extras (if you liked the British Office check it out) and am enjoying the changes going on for the most part. Here’s a beautiful Ani song called “Both Hands” I’ve apparently had in iTunes forever and never knew it. It’s my song d’jour.<3
Ciao and happy Monday!
But also choked-on-my-drink funny, so that assuages some of my guilt.
Mas manana, amigos.
If you ever plan to leave your wallet in any restaurant in KC, try and time it for Barley’s off Midland Drive in Shawnee. Not only will you actually GET the wallet back, but it will have your birthday money in it still.
And they have good beer, so it’s a win-win, really.
..When you are leaving to walk to school to pick up your kid and he shows up on the bus, instead. 15 minutes earlier than you thought school even got out. <<scratches head>> So yeah, Jon’s at back-to-school night, and I’m hoping we can go ahead and pin down exactly when school gets out. Seems to be a minor detail we should probably get straight.
[ETA: Turns out they yanked him early to get on the bus with the pre-school kids who get out earlier than regular school. So take that, parenting insecurities. I wasn’t wrong after all.]
SO. I had a good weekend. Went out with a couple friends for a birthday night out, and spent a lazy Sunday relaxing. Thanks for the well-wishes here and elsewhere, this year was significantly better than last. Snort. And actually, it’s curious to me just how apathetic I was about it yesterday. It wasn’t the same.. eh.. validating need like it was then. Maybe that’s what old age does for you?
Next, the good news is I’ve started the job. Sort of. In spurts. I’m trying to ease the kids into going to daycare – which they love, HALLELUJAH – but after Jack’s meltdown when the bus showed up to take him to school today, here, at the house, I know I still need to take it slow. So, slow we’ll take it. But I tell you what, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this if I didn’t have flexible bosses and daycare providers and bus coordinators and speech therapists and occupational therapists and friends..
Right now this is my village helping me raise my child, and I am incomparably grateful. I want to acknowledge that.
And finally, random addition #1: A picture I just got of the float trip, taken with a cheap and foggy underwater camera. We called the (unknown and sort of.. green looking) kid posing in front ‘Minnow Man’, b/c he was hellbent to catch a minnow, and he had some serious ‘tude.
Random addition #2: While listening to Pandora, I was literally floored to discover I liked a song by a band I previously thought totally blew. The Get Up Kids are hometown KC darlings, and I’ve always hated their music (which strangely enough, diverged further with the side projects. I almost violently disliked Reggie and the Full Effect, but liked the New Amsterdams well enough). I thought they were overrated and monotonous. However, I have to humbly admit that I do like this song. It’s not mind blowing, but it’s definitely better than I thought they could do. It’s called “Is There A Way Out”, and in fairness to them as a mea culpa I figured I’d share it.
Happy Monday, everyone. Hope life is well.
So Friday was K-day. Jack had his shoes on at 9:30 that morning, and by 11:00 had brought me mine. He was almost vibrating with excitement. He galloped around the kitchen, and Lo happily galloped behind him, both singing Today we go to Kindergarten! Today we go to Kindergarten!
(Well, you know Lo’s singing was unintelligible, but you could catch the drift.)
The following is the requisite first day picture. Alas, no Tinkerbell lunch box, b/c there is no need for it yet. But don’t think he didn’t try to convince me to use that instead of his backpack. (Lo apparently served as unofficial sherpa. Or maybe she thought we were headed back to Codoredo due to Jack’s excitement that morning. Either way she doesn’t usually leave the house with everything from her bed.)
As a way to transition to class and edge out the parents, the kids were supposed to glue a line on their names and stick pieces of cut-up colored squares to it. Part of Jack’s OT this year will be fine motor control, because he does have a tendency to either barely hold onto something or just squeeze the shit out of it. (Poor Oscar.) Tandy, his teacher, came by and tried to suggest dots after seeing his J, but Jack disagreed, and asked for the bottle back. Thus, BLAT, glue was everywhere. The kleenex in the picture was because he had drug his arm through it twice already. This is all in the first 3 minutes of getting to school. When we left Jack had squeezed out easily a fourth of the bottle of glue.
And that’s about it. My sweet fartknocker is officially school-aged. I am equally sad, and also wanting to dance on the table. Of course Kindy is a bittersweet rite of passage for everyone, but after the summer we’ve had, I think right now the table wins. I’ve said before that despite whatever instinctive philosophies I may have, the truth is, he needs structured school, and what it can provide that I can’t. I was reminded again that having all the love in the world isn’t necessarily enough, and I’m eternally grateful for what a blessing this school (and staff and kids and parents) has been for us. He is sincerely loved there, and everyone is doing everything possible to foster his happiness and learning potential. And really, what more could I ask for?
When he’s happy I’m happy.
(Minus the 30 hours a week of swimming. That might be the difference here.)
Breakfast: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes
Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)
Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)
Lo: Mommy, I hawgry.
Me: What do you want?
Lo: Yeah, hawgry.
Me: I know, honey. What do you want to eat?
Lo: (nodding) Eat.
Me: Lorelei. Do you want cheese? Apples? What?
Lo: (nodding) What.
[Jack, hearing me say something to the computer screen under my breath.]
Jack: Who are you talking to Mommy?!
Me: No one, honey.
Jack: Why are you talking to no one?
Me: I was just talking, don’t worry about it.
Jack: Who were you talking to?
Me: I wasn’t talking to anyone, Jack. There is no one I’m talking to.
Jack: Who is the anyone you are talking to?
Me: JACOBY! Hush!
Jack: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Just stop talking about it!
I didn’t have much to say earlier, and I still don’t, but I figured I’d marry the Monday and Tuesday entries into a single Mueday one (or Tonday, I suppose. Whichever, the puns still fit.) since I feel neglectful and I know tomorrow will be busy.
So, had a fun, busy and game-filled weekend. Kickball on Friday, Olympics (GO PHELPS GO!) and poker game on Saturday and the Royals on Sunday. Thank God Jack was mungly and we had to leave early, because that game went into TWELVE innings. Crazy.
We found out that a friend of ours is Jack’s teacher for this year, which is great news. I really think she will be firm enough with him and honest enough with me to continue our success. Also, the transition should be easier since he knows her. But, whenever we’ve talked about it, he’s proclaimed that he will definitely go to Kindergarten, but not school. So we’ll see what that really means on Friday. Send some relaxed vibes this direction, por favor, because I just have a feeling it’s either going to be awesome or simply horrible. There’s rarely an in between with Jack. Sigh.
Let’s see.. I’m sort of bummed about Bernie Mac, but the Isaac Hayes news means virtually nothing to me. And that actually kind of makes me feel guilty, since really, I knew neither, so whatever feelings I have seem arbitrary anyway. Odd how that works, eh? I mean, I don’t know Matt Damon either, but it’s a safe bet I’d be more than ‘sort of bummed’ if he died.
Good thing he’s invincible.
So here’s the latest Teen Girl Squad entry on Homestarrunner. Be aware if you’ve never gone there that the humor is.. particular. We giggle like idiots, but that’s because we’ve watched enough to anticipate the characters.
Oh, I know! My birthday is in SIX DAYS. I will be thirty…. one. Not very exciting. But regardless, mark your calendars for August 17th. I was born a day after Elvis died and my mom said that the gal in the hospital room with her was distraught, and named her kid Elvis. Poor guy. I think of him every year.
Finally, the YTT(M) installment is a DJ called Girl Talk. He has mashed some of the coolest songs* evar, and I picked the section that seemed the most accessible here. I totally love it, but I think it’s probably not up everyone’s alley. At any rate, if you do dig it, go here and download it for free ala Radiohead. Good times.
*If you go to Youtube you can see the lists of songs used in each section.
First, the bruise update: Still hurts to poke, but the intergalactic message seems to have faded, so I’m assuming my role as conduit is over.
Second is a random cartoon I think is funny.
Next is a picture of what a future neck-ache looks like.
Finally, a song for my beloved Team Awesome, who plays their last kickball game tonight. I think a little Andrew W.K.’s “Party Hard” is apropos, yes?
Have a good weekend!
Ever have so much going on that you feel like you just don’t have the energy to explain any of it?
Hmm let’s see. I’m week two-ish of the Wellbutrin, and I’m feeling some side effects, for sure. I noticed some rushes of extreme frustration/aggression/irritability that would lash out during illogical times. I know my temper, and the triggers for it. And these swift reactions were so out of place it only took a day or two to attribute it to the meds. I also have had a couple periods where I felt everything heightened to the point where it was almost manic. Not quite jittery, and not necessarily happy, just.. extreme. So I looked up the side effects and sure enough these are rare, but listed. It also said that caffeine can exacerbate the symptoms, which might explain a lot. (Note to self: Do not take pill with morning vat of coffee.) I’m going to take it for at least this month, and discuss with my midwife if it doesn’t change.
Speaking of midwives, I had the idea to rant about a situation happening in KC, but the truth is, I’m too tired and sort of sad about the whole thing, and don’t have the usual piss-and-vinegar needed to spew some awesome rhetoric. Last year sometime a DO started a practice with a local professional midwife (i.e., one who has hospital rights, as opposed to just a lay midwife not recognized) and it has been a true blessing to the city. They are amazing women (I knew the midwife b/c she taught my doula conference a few years ago and the DO is a former Bradley teacher. Both have had homebirths.) and they are one of the few care providers in KC who trust that women can actually make informed decisions about their own bodies and birth. Apparently, there was an internal hospital complaint about a homebirth transfer the DO attended – that ended with healthy baby and mama, I might add – and consequently she and the midwife’s privileges have been temporarily revoked.
To say this whole thing SCREAMS of political bullshit is an understatement.
These women represented the best scenario thus far of bridging the world of home and hospital births. They are trying to compromise in a business that is already ridiculously illogical, and revoking their privileges is not only a freaking obvious witch hunt, but it’s cruel to the dozens of mamas due, y’know, today. There was a pretty big public outcry, so the hospital announced an emergency meeting to ‘discuss’ the problem, but the damage, so to speak, has already been done. Anyway, it’s just stupidly sad and unnecessary. Grrr it pisses me off to think about it so I’ll just move on.
So I got a job! Huzzah! It’s not the highest hourly rate I probably could earn at this point, but it’s blocks from the house, really laid-back, I don’t have to go and buy a whole new wardrobe and I get to work with a friend. Plus, they’re flexible with me wanting to work part-time so I can transition the kids. I’m excited to start, though I’m feeling incredibly stressed about finding a day care and Jack starting Kindy next week and figuring out the bus schedule and all of that lovely stuff. 🙂 Regardless, this is good. In other news, finally finished the second-round of academic work for Bradley, and hopefully (HOPEFULLY) I’ll be cleared soon to start provisionally teaching. I haven’t done much in the last year with this passion, and I think it will be awesome for me right now, financially and just personally. Pregnancy and birth and babies are da bomb.
[THAT SAID, I am checking the twitter every couple hours, Mist. I’m trying to be patient, but boy howdy am I anxiously awaiting peanut’s arrival.]
Ok. I think that’s all I can think of for now. We have friends coming over to go swimming, so I should go anyway. Happy Thursday everyone!