So here’s some irony. Becoming a mother was the single most empowering thing I’ve ever done, and yet I have less control in my life right now then I’ve ever had. Ever.

I have no real address. I have no car (just a loaner I was thankfully, blessedly, graciously given to drive. Don’t mistake my gratitude.). My income is tenuous, at best. Jon and I got into a stupid (but resolved, because we were, in fact, always friends first) fight that only could have happened because of a divorce. I’m in a fairly constant panic about trying to remember bills and and birthdays and events and schedules, because I simply feel un-moored. Adrift, mostly.

At the moment my life is the pause in the movie while the buffering attempts to catch up. You know it will get there, but goddamn it’s torturous waiting sometimes.

Now. Having said that (but not a whole host of other things I could mention), I want to say that I’m not unhappy – mostly because I have a strong and loving group keeping my head above water. And as another cliche proves to be true, I appreciate my moments of happiness much more than I could have known to do before.  My life is a helluva lot simpler, somehow, and that’s pretty freeing in a lot of ways. But mostly it’s my kids, in all of their vulnerable, tiring, destructobotic, nomadic, innocent power, that are the only compasses I feel comfortable trusting right now. I don’t know up from down, but I love them and that’s enough to start with.

So, because I’ve got my Girls on, and I’ve been meaning to post some pics of my handiwork lately, I’ll neatly tie this Mother’s day leit motif with ‘Closer To Fine’ and recent pictures.

Have a great day, friends, and don’t forget to tell your mother you love her.

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