Redneck Girl: “‘LoNROcanoehowcanIhelpyew.”

Me: (confused pause) “..Oh, hi. Uh, do you have rafts there?”


Me: (laughing politely) “I bet people get confused by that all the time considering your name.”


RG: (long pause) “…I don’t get it.”

Me: …

Me:  “So anyway I was wondering if I could make a reservation for next weekend for 14 people?”

RG:  “Yeh.”

Me:  “Ok, how much are your rafts?”

RG:  “Two 6-man rafts seat 12.”

Me:  …

Me:  “Mmm.. I have 14 in my group.”

RG:  “6-man rafts cost a hunnerdtwenty.”

Me:  “So I guess I’ll need three.”

RG:  “We got 4-man rafts.”

Me:  …

Me:  “So I should probably do 2 4-man rafts and one 6-man raft. That’s 14 exactly. ”

RG:  “I guess.”

Me:  “How much are 4-man rafts?”

RG:  “Eighty.”

Me:  “Ok, so two-eighty for all three, right? And it says on your site here that camping is free, which is great because it’s more expensive up the road.”

RG:  (long pause) “I guess.”

Me:  …

Me:  “Is there someone else I should be talking to? I’m a little unsure we’re communicating very clearly.”

RG:  ….

RG:  ….

Me:  “Hello? Did I lose you?”

RG:  “Do you have access to a computer?”

Me:  “Uh. Yeah.. I just mentioned I was looking at the site right now..”


.. and the rest was blabber about credit card information and waivers and rules of the campsite. It got even more wiggedy wacked when I realized 10 seconds after I called that I actually had 15 people coming, and the solution was adding a small tube to my reservation. Seemed simple enough, but holy batman that poor girl was flummoxed.

To say that I am going to call again tomorrow to double check I wasn’t hallucinating the whole thing is so not a joke.