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I got a packet in the mail, and it looks like I can get COBRA through Jon’s employer with health, dental and vision.

All for the low cost of $464.76 a month.

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Sounds awesome. Sign me up.

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Please take note, as some of these things might take some time to find.

– a horse

– purple spray paint

– a unicorn

– Barbie

– a flashlight

– a tutu

– a Hello Kitty band aid

– a Hello Kitty toothbrush

– lipstick

– an ice cream cone

– a green hair ribbon

– raisins

– Sleeping Beauty (the movie)

– Princess Legos

– a puppy

– a baby sister

– a princess book

– a hammer

– ET (the actual alien)

– a drink of pop

– a gumball

– pink nail polish

– a butterfly

– an in-ground swimming pool

– deodorant

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Thank you.

1. Why is it that when I right-click the Mac mouse, I suddenly freeze the computer while a colorful wheel spins for an indeterminate amount of time?

2. What in the HELL is happening that such an innocuous button on a PC can cause such obvious distress to the Apple machine? Why such a friggen disparity in functionality if they utilize the same mice?! This truly chaps my hide. Every single day, when I do it multiple times.

3. Jack’s school district doesn’t have busing for elementary kids. This was learned recently and suddenly… like on the first day of school. It’s a crazy mess with IEPs and funding and in the end Jon and I are literally scrambling to figure out how to get him home from school every day. It totally blows.

4. Why is busing spelled busing and not bussing like I keep trying to spell it? I’ve had the opportunity to type/write out that word over 40 million times in the last week, and I’m still, thanks to the squiggly little red line underneath it, trying to write it incorrectly. I don’t think such a little word has trumped me this stubbornly.. ever.

5. When you see a construction sign that is specific (usually for detour directions) what happens to those signs after the project is over? Is the TURN LEFT ON SWITZER sign made of sticker-like letters? And is there someone who then has to peel that off afterward? Who makes those signs?

6. Why is it that people who answer phones for big companies are either super helpful or unabashedly rude? I realize it’s not a new rant to complain about people in customer service positions, but I got some asshat in trouble this week, because he literally transferred me mid-sentence, and the boss who ended up having to suss out my rambling when he picked up was LESS than pleased to have been put in that position. I was glad to know the guy got chewed out, but I wish he’d just been nice to begin with. Is it THAT HARD TO BE POLITE TO STRANGERS PEOPLE?

7. I legitimately, and without snobbery, don’t get why people on Facebook announce when they’re going to bed… unless it’s 4 in the morning. Or that they’re washing their car… unless it’s new. Or that they’re brushing their teeth… unless they recently got dentures. You get my drift.

8. I watched Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist the other night, and I can’t get it out of my head. It was SO DAMN CUTE. And everyone I’ve told that to is like, duh, you love Michael Cera, why didn’t you see it earlier? I don’t know. But I regret it, because I love that kid, and I now love pretty much everything he’s ever done. Plus I dig the soundtrack, so that helps.

9.  I need to get some insurance (catastrophic at least, but most likely health and dental. Not too worried about vision right now). But I don’t know where to begin. Any suggestions?

10. Saw BRITT4U today on a vanity plate. Sigh. What? WHAT?

IMG_0099crop

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.. And also apparently ‘Barbie School’.

But fear not: she and I will have the whole why-Barbie-is-evil discussion over calorically-rich milkshakes soon enough, I promise.

RIP John Hughes. I’m going to watch ‘Some Kind of Wonderful’ tonight just for you.

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IMG00037-20090731-1851

1. I rarely drink pop.

2. I carefully wrote out my performance review this weekend, as my handwriting has regressed in the however many years of using a computer.

3. I’m ridiculously klutzy.

4. I’m tired.

5. When I do bring in a drink, I always set it on the ground or carefully away from any important papers or expensive equipment.

6. I have, my entire life, been bad about tightening caps on things.

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Thus,

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 +5 + 6 = I just tripped, shaking up my barely-capped pop, and sprayed the shit out of everything.

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Welcome, Monday. Now please go away because you suck.

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