1. I rarely drink pop.

2. I carefully wrote out my performance review this weekend, as my handwriting has regressed in the however many years of using a computer.

3. I’m ridiculously klutzy.

4. I’m tired.

5. When I do bring in a drink, I always set it on the ground or carefully away from any important papers or expensive equipment.

6. I have, my entire life, been bad about tightening caps on things.



1 + 2 + 3 + 4 +5 + 6 = I just tripped, shaking up my barely-capped pop, and sprayed the shit out of everything.


Welcome, Monday. Now please go away because you suck.