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I have the weirdest stomach bug this week. You know that feeling RIGHT before you ralph? Like when you first wake up and you’re trying to decide if it will just go away if you lay real still on the bed? I’ve had that for four days. And last night I attempted to eat a dinner that did not attempt to stay with me. Blech.

Secondary to that, Jack has had this horrible hacking smoker-sounding cough that people turn their heads to look at. No other symptoms and accompanied with physical exertion, I’m beginning to wonder maybe if it’s asthma? I’ll research and decide if we should get him tested, but he doesn’t seem to be out of breath, and I really want to make sure there’s a reason to go first. Anyone knowledgeable about childhood asthma?

So, we’re camped in today, taking our vits and watching movies. The kids just discovered Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (yes, original) and Lo wanders around humming the Oompa Loompa song now. Between that and singing the Star Wars theme, she’s the coolest kid I know.

But the real reason for this entirely pointless post is that I’ve been downloading a bunch of music today, and came across this little gem.  I unabashedly love the original, and have no embarrassment at loving this one too. I even dig the Spanish version.  Enjoy and I really hope none of you feel as shitty as I have this week.

Flying Pickets – Only You

No shit.

(But thanks for the announcement.)

Here’s my morning thus far:

Took Jack to a new Ped about an issue that was subsequently referred on to an Endocrinologist. It’s most likely nothing, but I’ll let you know if it becomes something real. This Ped’s an autie mom also, so when she asked me which doctor gave us the dx, I blanked and mumbled something about ‘Dr. Prozac.’ I was momentarily embarrassed until she looked at me and said I know exactly who you’re talking about, he tried to put my daughter on Prozac also. And it was, in fact, the same guy.

That’s both funny and really, really sad.

Also while we were there, the vet called to say Oscar is not recouping as well as he should, so they put him back on IV and drugs [insert image of dollars rolling on a gas pump] which makes me think we should start a pool on the final bill, shall we? (Whatchoo think: five dollar buy-in – winner gets bragging rights along with charity warm fuzzies?)

And, finally, here’s a cartoon that made me giggle, though I realize of the half of you who would even GET the reference, half won’t even think it’s funny. Which leaves me and… uh, Sam? Whatever, I like it.

Happy Monday everyone! Hope all you mamas out there had a great weekend.

We have a snow day, a feverish toddler, a hyper preschooler, an out-of-town Daddy and my eyeballs just tried to jump ship due to the pressure in my head when I blew my nose.


I’ll give a shiny nickel to the first person who shows up with a pizza and a babysitter.


Ready… GO!

So they replaced all the machines at the gym, and have updated most of the ellipticals with these new beastly Terminator versions. I don’t remember the brand to try and find a picture, but suffice it to say you can do short stair steps and really long running strides. PLUS it has just enough tension to feel like you’re running through sand/water AND it’s so much kinder to my knee. I did it for about half an hour last night, and can barely move today. This thing is awesome.

And I mention that first because I’m sore, so I keep remembering, but also because I’m surprised that I’ve ever reached the point where I like to exercise. Really truly I enjoy it. Six months ago I would have been irritated by whatever Pollyanna would have written that – so for that I apologize – but it’s interesting to me, because my whole life I’ve categorized myself as the one whose brain muscles were the strongest ones in me. (That sounds horribly egotistical, but surely you understand what I’m saying.) And it’s not just the vanity results I’m enjoying, it’s the overall feeling better. More energy, less stress. (They weren’t kidding about that people! It’s true!) Yesterday I had an angering conversation, and later it felt good to go do something about it. I told my friend that if I can have at least a drink or a run, I can handle anything. And this is definitely a new stage. Well, the latter is, anyway. Ha.

So that’s that.

Moving on.. Jack has been a turd lately, in case the previous posts hadn’t clued you in. He’s done this before, punishing Jon for having to go to work, but I can’t figure out what triggered this latest attitude. It’s a whole new level and it’s hard to watch. I know someday he’ll understand, but now it hurts me to see him internalizing it and associating it with.. whatever he does. I’m guessing abandonment. Doesn’t really excuse the way he’s been talking to us, but I definitely feel empathy for the monkey.

And that’s about all for this mind-numbingly cold morning. We’re going to see good friends and possibly the second season of UK Office this weekend – not to mention a rash of birthday parties – so that makes this last day of the week happier. Sometimes I like the anticipation just as much, y’know?

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend and is feeling well. Misty, you in particular are on my mind, amiga.


So I know from experience that I shouldn’t try and write when I’m still kind of groggy, but I think this might be the most uninterrupted time today, so I should take advantage of it.

Hmmm let’s see. Well, we have moved past the pink eye (which I don’t think was conjunctivitis, actually) and now we gots the snots. Jack is so sweetly chipper and good natured, and I hate to keep him home again, but when he coughs it’s shockingly loud. But not croupy (don’t worry Mom), so I’m not going to see the ped or anything yet.

However, if you were to tape our nights and speed them up, we’d look like a funny little Chinese Fire Drill of beds. The kids lately have started like this:


But then one of them wakes up squawking and we’ll move Lorelei into her room or Jack into our room and one of us always ends up somewhere else. Last night Lo was congested enough that she couldn’t breathe out of her nose, but when she used her mouth the pacifier fell out

[and you should know the continual spinning of earth on its axis is dependent on The Paci]

and she’d wake up pissed either way. She spent a good four hours snoring on my chest, and though it was adorable, it was not so cute that I wanted to give up sleep for it.

So why am I writing another post about sickness? No reason. But sometimes despite my intentions to be hip and interesting, I have no choice but to write about snot, puke and sleep.

It’s all good.

And to end this, I’ll post a video of why parenting is worth it. It was the tenth attempt in a row to get Lo to sing, and she became goofier with each take, so forgive the cackling in the background. She just cracks me up, the little goober.

(Check out the tats on her cheek she and Jack gave themselves with a wayward pen earlier!)

Because I know somewhere there’s a clause that says that if you get no sleep and your kid wakes up with a raging case of pink eye and one cat jumps into the unflushed toilet and the other pukes into your paper towel-waiting hand (all before lunch) you get to spike your coffee.

I know I saw it somewhere. I’ll let you know.

For the first time since high school the weight on my driver’s license is not a lie.

I wanted to be clever like Jason, but I can’t, so I’m just going to steal his wit.

We’re under attack from the Influenzigoths. We thought we were past it from last week and got a couple-hour reprieve yesterday for Lo’s party, but after that it got bad. I don’t seem to be affected like the rest of my crew thus far, but I feel rumbly in my tumbly so I don’t think I’m going to get out unscathed.

Lock your doors. This crap sucks.

5:00 am – Lorelei wakes up. Since Jon is traveling I get up.

6:00 am – I discover we are out of coffee.

7:30 am – Jack wakes up and announces his underwear is stuck to his..

10:00 am – Kids color with markers. Mostly on themselves and the table.

12:25 pm – Lorelei pukes multiple day’s worth all over herself in the car.

12:50 pm – Get car seat apart to take off cover after twenty minutes.

12:51 pm – Lose one of the freaking screws inside the seat.

12:53 pm – Discover my washing machine has broken. RIGHT THEN.

12:54 pm – Wash the stuff in the tub and the drain clogs.

1:45 pm – Argue with the dentist’s office about discrepancies on bill.

3:00 pm – Repair guy says he won’t be out until tomorrow.

3:25 pm – Lorelei pukes again, in Jack’s carseat this time.

3:30 pm – Throw clothes and towel in tub to wash when I get a second.

3:34 pm – Shoo snacking kitten out of tub. Foul.

3:45 pm – Jack turns to talk while peeing and sprays everywhere.

3:46 pm – Jack helps by pointing to all the wet spots in the bathroom.

4:00 pm – Trip over snacking (again) cat, wrench back.

4:01 pm – Curse Jon for being out of town.

4:02 pm – Curse God for probably laughing.


4:08 pm – Debate escaping, but decide not to because car smells like ralph.

Ever feel like someone has taken a cheese grater and gone EEEE-ERRR across the back of your throat? Yeah, me too. Yesterday I took 12 grams of sodium ascorbate (a form of Vit C), which is, I think, a hundred and twenty times more than the RDA’s measely 100mg daily.

Re-dickarus that daily allowance is. That amount does almost nothing for you, much less if you need to heal something. Whatever.

So, I just got back from Jack’s first parent-teacher conference of the year. I find it embarrassingly affirming for me to go to these things and have PROFESSIONALS tell me wonderful things about him. I firmly believe every parent knows their child best, but the one thing that has been the hardest with this whole dang journey is blindly going along with no idea how to navigate it. Usually I’ll research forty different views on any subject and finally stop, leap with a decision, and say ‘well shit, I hope this works.’ I’m sure a lot of parenting is like that, but with autism we have NO (zilch, none, nada) comparison for whether we’re succeeding. Lots of two-forward-one-back kinda thing.

It’s also hard for me to accept that for now, the single best place for Jack is in the school system. I have such excitement thinking about homeschooling, but I know that I simply can’t teach him the social skills he needs. Even homeschool co-ops would not be sufficient. And he’s leaping and bounding so much that I just resign myself to pushing the idea back a few years.

We talked about kindergarten today, and how academically he was ready long ago, but socially he needs to work on a couple concrete ideas (following directions in a group setting, listening fully in a group setting and basic back-and-forth conversation) before we should consider it. He’ll turn 5 in April, so there’ll be no shame if we wait a year (not that there would be anyway, but you know what I mean). We’ll decide then if keeping him in the pre-school will be more beneficial or detrimental. We talked about how his receptive language (hearing and processing) is still fairly behind his expressive language (talking, basically) and when we get it a little bit closer to even, it will be easier to make the decision. They noted the same thing I see all the time, which is that often if Jack will slow down enough, when you speak to him you can almost *see* the wheels turning to process what you’re saying. It breaks my heart to take for granted the instantaneousness with which I can think, and know he has to do it slowly and carefully. It’s not insurmountable, but it’s a sizable issue.

There was one particular thing that almost made me cry. His Speech Pathologist (who is beloved in our home) told me that all kids on the spectrum are different and incomparable, but the positive qualities Jack has are above the majority of the ASD kids she usually works with. And she said partially she attributes that to how Jon and I parent. She’s noticed that instead of focusing on the limitations of the diagnosis (a trap I recognize) Jon and I still have high expectations of him, and treat him as normally as possible.

Sounds obvious, but until you have a child that you look at with a special lens, you have no idea what a compliment that is.

So yeah, this was a nice visit for me.

Lo-speak for ‘good morning’. But again, our day with Lorelei started at 3:45, so really, at this point it’s mid-afternoon, right? Hrumph.

Yah, hullo. How is everyone? Our weekend was pretty low-key. Saw some friends, watched some football, but mostly veged. Lo had a fever off-and-on all weekend, and is in full-on snot mode (aren’t you glad you read a mom’s blog?). Jack, though, seems to be, again, the healthiest member of the family. He has a cough when he first wakes up, but then nothing after, really. And secretly, sometimes I wish he could get even a mild cold, so that he would come down a notch or two. Not get really sick – just not climb the walls and use his VERY LOUD EXUBERANT VOICE for maybe a day or two.

And other than that and watching our Cats redeem themselves (eat ’em up!), I’ve mostly been listening to my newest favoritest album. Although, I do have to add, I am really beginning to feel disconcerted that Thom York(e)’s voice is reminding me of the creepy old guy from Family Guy. Really, that can totally ruin a song, so I’m trying desperately not to let it.

So that’s about it as a weekend recap. (Hmmm.. my Monday posts always seem to be sort of unorganized, huh? Oh well.) But I do have one last thing: Jon and I were discussing an accident I had when we were first married, and I want to ask a question for everyone to answer if you could por favor.

The winter of ’00/’01 KC had a string of nasty ice storms, and during one of them I was headed to a friend’s house late and was on a gravel road with a pretty steep incline. I didn’t realize there was – I think they said – 6 inches of ice on that road, so as I went down the hill, I lightly put on the brakes in preparation for the stop sign at the bottom. Well, immediately I started sliding towards the edge of the road, where I then tipped over and slid upside-down into the ravine about 20 feet. I was able to call 911 but was trapped in the crushed car for almost half an hour until someone came and opened up the back door and pulled me out.

Great story, right? Yeah, it sucked A LOT. But here’s what I want to know: When the car was beginning to slide, it was only going maybe 10-15 miles an hour. It felt like eternity as I glided gracefully over. And I joke now that I probably could have gotten out and run circles around the car before getting back in. Yet some people have alluded that they would have actually had the wherewithal to get out. So I want to know if people (you all, currently) really could think ahead to do that. If it’s an ice storm and your car begins to slide, do you think you would just hop out so you don’t go over with it? I won’t be offended whatever you say, I promise, but I guess I just don’t see how anyone instinctively thinks they would get out of a moving car. And I know it’s hard to imagine if you’re not really there, but I’m curious nonetheless.

It’s not a really important question, obviously. But I’m just wondering. I know next time I might be more apt to risk it, that’s for sure.

So lemme know if you have an opinion, and I hope you have a great day. Ciao!

Yesterday we had a playdate where we ate crappy takeout pizza for lunch. And before I had even finished eating my stomach was churning. It didn’t taste good, it was a waste of money, and I felt sluggish and gross afterwards. So why did I eat it? Because I have an emotional attachment to eating out.

I don’t really enjoy cooking; it’s sensory overload for me in many ways. And eating out has always been associated with luxury in my mind regardless of its quality – in fact eating fast food is almost MORE rebelliously wasteful considering how unhealthy it is the majority of the time. And even though I don’t enjoy eating out as much as I used to, I can’t seem to just grow up and be content with cooking/eating here. And I should, because I feel better when I eat better, duh. Plus I love that my daughter snarfs vegetables and Jack doesn’t know pop well enough to know Coke is called Coke and not cook or cock like he suggested this weekend when trying it. I feel strongly that in general people need to eat more healthily, and it’s just a matter of education and…what? Yes, I’d love some. With extra sour cream and cheese, please. Thanks.


So I randomly saw a show on BBC America while Lo was napping yesterday called You Are What You Eat. The gal is an holistic nutritionist, and she cuts to the chase about ‘poo’ and how your tongue reflects the status of your spleen, and she lays all the food each guest has eaten for a week on a table and HOLY BATMAN there is no hiding from it.

It lacks much of the drama and flash of American shows about weight and health (imagine that), but it was so eye-opening, even for someone like myself who considers herself pretty knowledgeable. It just shocked me the disconnect I have between what I know and what I do. It doesn’t add up. I mean, I just did a cleanse last week – it was supposed to be a 10-day fast but I only did a couple days, b/c I realized the process of coming back onto real food would take almost as many days and would require a basically raw-food diet. The fast itself would have been nothing for me, but the giving up of cheesy chicken enchiladas with refried beans? No way in hell. Yet when you detox your system so thoroughly, eating that would make you sicker than a dog. So I cut it short knowing I wouldn’t be able to be make the best choices afterwards. Dumb. That’s just dumb.

And my food-philosophy in theory supports minimal meat/dairy and mostly raw fruits and veggies. But in practice I’m nowhere near that, though I know how to do it and why to do it. And I’m all about moderation, but if you gave me a lifetime pass to Chipotle, I would eat there every other day. And you can have all the best ingredients in the world but those portion sizes alone would kill you!

I digress; this is not my point.

My point is that when you reach a stage where you aren’t even fulfilled by your choices, you should change your choice, right? Doesn’t that seem logical? But I can’t seem to do that, and I wonder how I can separate the emotional attachment of money and food. I’m not sure what else can motivate me, ’cause this ‘know-better-do-better’ thing doesn’t seem to be working for me in this department.

Any ideas? Anyone relate?

As much as I love WordPress (and I do, a lot) I am not digging the issues I have with pictures**. Why can’t they be anywhere between thumbnail and the size of the screen? I’m sure the problem lay with my zero knowledge of pixelation, but my tooth hurts and I’m waiting for Jon to bring home some ice cream and the first season of Heroes. I’m grumpy and don’t feel like finding out.

And I guess I need to apologize slightly to Dr. Manroe for telling the world what a horrible dentist he’s been all these years. Apparently I metabolize pain medication crazy fast, and have supernerves in my teeth. Poor Greg tried SEVEN times to shoot up one tooth with progressively more intense drugs and I still felt the work. Seriously. I pop kids out like it’s nothing and a little smoke coming out of my mouth makes me cry? Ugh. I’m an unhappy mama right now folks. But, now that the first stage of the work is being done, I can say I *am* really glad I decided to wean Lorelei. I can’t imagine what’s coursing through me right now.

This, too, is what I looked like today after trying to eat lunch:


My advice? Don’t get cavities that need to be filled.

**Hey, uh, guess what. I discovered that I can resize the corners bigger and smaller in the edit screen. Woot!

I have a bunch of things on my brain and none of them are correlated. Proper introduction, no?

1. Jack is doing wonderfully with both types of pottying lately. Some people think it’s totally lame for bored moms to blog about things like that, when they should be discussing presidential platforms and the Gaza strip. To them I say SUCKIT. Jack is 4 and a half and this is *huge* in our world.

2. My right arm has been sort of tingly and sore since last night. I’m not going to entertain the thought of a stroke so I think I’ll have Jon massage it to see if it’s a pinched nerve.

3. We have a couple weddings coming up, and I had thought I would wear a pretty little shirt I got from my beloved (and incredibly consumeristic) White House/Black Market. It looks similarly enough to this, though without the windblown model. And I don’t hold my manicured hands so casually. Anyway, when I bought it a few years ago it was sort of roomy, and has since become too big to wear (yay!.. wait… booo!) so I had the INGENIOUS idea of washing it, thinking it would shrink. And it did. Except I’m such a freaking blockhead I didn’t think about the fact that it shrunk shorter, too. So now it’s quite snug across, but also shows a fantastic amount of slightly streched-marked and tatooed tummy. Mmmmm sexy. So maybe instead I should beaugard Lo’s pink shirt that has ‘I (heart) NY’ rhinestoned on the front and wear that. Because I’m that damn classy..

4. K-State vs Auburn, tomorrow night at 7something, ESPN. Be there and see how Casey and I manage to continue to be friends. I told him I wouldn’t get into pre-game smack because I think it’s possible we’ll lose. But if we win? Woo hoo all sportsmanship is outta here! 😉

Have a good weekend, everyone.



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