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Me: Give Bran a wet willy, he loves them.

Lo: SarCASM? [ed: she puts the emphasis on CASM and it kills me]

Me: Uh.. yeah. That was. He hates it.

Lo: That’s what I thought. You shouldn’t say what you don’t mean.

Me: (mumbling) … I’m sorry. I was trying to make joke.

Lo: It’s not a joke if I don’t get it.

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And all I’ll give you today is mah adorable daughter playing her first Laser Tag.

The baddest Sarah Conner in jammies pants and a sunflower cardigan you’ll ever see, yo.

Last night when I was reading books at bedtime, I noticed she was humming a mashup of the Darth Vader theme and the traditional Wedding March. Then when I was kissing her goodnight she whispered to me that I looked as pretty as Queen Amidala.

Those monkeys fill up every extra space in my world with love.

IMG_0537

Hmm. You must not know Lo.

Lorelei, unprompted yet whispering very shyly and quietly to the man behind the counter:  “Can I please have a sucker?”

Man:  “Sure, sweetie! And you’re so cute you can have two!”

Lo, mumbling:  “Thank you berry much.”

Lo, not two minutes later in the car, nearly screaming with excitement:  “I’M SO HAPPY I MIGHT JUST SHARE THIS NUMBER TWO SUCKER WITH MY BROTHER WHEN I GET HOME!”

Despite what I’ve questioned about the idea of germ theory being the end-all, that doesn’t really mean I’m down with you licking the bottom of your shoe because you’re bored.

Thanks.

-Mom

Please take note, as some of these things might take some time to find.

– a horse

– purple spray paint

– a unicorn

– Barbie

– a flashlight

– a tutu

– a Hello Kitty band aid

– a Hello Kitty toothbrush

– lipstick

– an ice cream cone

– a green hair ribbon

– raisins

– Sleeping Beauty (the movie)

– Princess Legos

– a puppy

– a baby sister

– a princess book

– a hammer

– ET (the actual alien)

– a drink of pop

– a gumball

– pink nail polish

– a butterfly

– an in-ground swimming pool

– deodorant

.

Thank you.

Earlier in the day the candle in the picture below had been both sgaghetti (spaghetti) and lenninade (lemonade), so hours after Lo left and I finally found my glasses, I had to wonder what purpose the glasses served.  Possibly something for the characters her brother’s always talking about? Say, a fork for Hookanabaka (Chewbacca), or maybe a straw for Dardader (Darth Vader)?

IMG_1186

Trust me when I say the world will never, ever know.

Lo (excitedly pointing): “Mommy, do you see him?”

Me: “Who, honey?”

Lo (gasping and peeking around the counter): “My friend Baredy.”

Me: “..Barry?”

Lo: “Yes! Right there!”

Me: “Barry White? That would be a feat..”

Lo: “No! It’s Barry Yellow! Hi Barry Yellow!”

firsttimebowling1/09

ETA: Months later it looks like the RockYou site has totally messed up the montage. There should be like.. 20 pictures.

[rockyou id=126834261]

Because she’s quite possibly cute enough to charm anyone, and if nothing else, her language is unintelligible enough it could be considered a U.N. sort of blend.

(Pay no attention to her brother hollering in the other room. Apparently I was supposed to magically move all the bedding he had wedged behind the door.)

Lo: Mommy, I hawgry.

Me: What do you want?

Lo: Yeah, hawgry.

Me: I know, honey. What do you want to eat?

Lo: (nodding) Eat.

Me: Lorelei. Do you want cheese? Apples? What?

Lo: (nodding) What.

.

Sigh.

I love you so much. You are such an adorable little fartknocker.

I love that you wake me up by sticking your finger up my nose. Or kicking me in the ribs. Or just randomly yelling I BREFESS MOMMY GIT UP!

I love that you not only aren’t afraid of bugs, but that you will squat your little chubby self down to try and catch them. And eat them, usually.

I love that the pacifier is going to be a real hassle to get rid of. That you have 129 days until your third birthday, when the fairy takes them to all the new babies in the world. Enjoy it now, princess.

I love how you will take a running start to headbutt someone. That your pinches leave bruises and that you can effectively clothesline Jack to the floor. We don’t call you Earthmover and Cagefighter for no reason.

I love that you’ll lay your head down on my shoulder. You are my snuggly bear.

I love that when you are tired, you’ll just go to bed. And often give goodnight kisses to everyone in the house – guests and all.

I love that you change your clothes eleventynine times a day, and refuse to listen that jumpers need a shirt on underneath. Your shoes are often mismatched, and really, why not?

I love that you have been trying harder to sit on the potty, and will hold still for two and a half songs before running away cackling. However you don’t take kindly to the idea that we don’t wear potties. This is not really a why not, though. It’s a definite why.

I love you because it can never be said you’re boring. Or quiet.

Mostly I just love you because you are one of the best things I’ve ever done.

And I dig being your mommy.

That when your daughter,

sounds like an Ewok,

you should consider getting a speech evaluation, no? 😉

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