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Redneck Girl: “‘LoNROcanoehowcanIhelpyew.”

Me: (confused pause) “..Oh, hi. Uh, do you have rafts there?”

RG: (EXASPERATED SIGH) “Yeh.”

Me: (laughing politely) “I bet people get confused by that all the time considering your name.”

[nrocanoe.com]

RG: (long pause) “…I don’t get it.”

Me: …

Me:  “So anyway I was wondering if I could make a reservation for next weekend for 14 people?”

RG:  “Yeh.”

Me:  “Ok, how much are your rafts?”

RG:  “Two 6-man rafts seat 12.”

Me:  …

Me:  “Mmm.. I have 14 in my group.”

RG:  “6-man rafts cost a hunnerdtwenty.”

Me:  “So I guess I’ll need three.”

RG:  “We got 4-man rafts.”

Me:  …

Me:  “So I should probably do 2 4-man rafts and one 6-man raft. That’s 14 exactly. ”

RG:  “I guess.”

Me:  “How much are 4-man rafts?”

RG:  “Eighty.”

Me:  “Ok, so two-eighty for all three, right? And it says on your site here that camping is free, which is great because it’s more expensive up the road.”

RG:  (long pause) “I guess.”

Me:  …

Me:  “Is there someone else I should be talking to? I’m a little unsure we’re communicating very clearly.”

RG:  ….

RG:  ….

Me:  “Hello? Did I lose you?”

RG:  “Do you have access to a computer?”

Me:  “Uh. Yeah.. I just mentioned I was looking at the site right now..”

.

.. and the rest was blabber about credit card information and waivers and rules of the campsite. It got even more wiggedy wacked when I realized 10 seconds after I called that I actually had 15 people coming, and the solution was adding a small tube to my reservation. Seemed simple enough, but holy batman that poor girl was flummoxed.

To say that I am going to call again tomorrow to double check I wasn’t hallucinating the whole thing is so not a joke.

But I hope whoever used that search term to land here found what they needed anyway.

Um… what? Was DIABTES or ROSES or NASCAR already taken or something?

I promise I’m not being overly sensitive because I’m close to the topic, I just think that’s dumb. I mean WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!

Attempting to switch lanes during rush hour and thankfully realizing at the very last second you have a Porsche Carerra GT in your blindspot.

But looking at that stupid site has never failed to cheer me up, and this is another one that has me giggling like a wackadoo, so there ya go.

cat

What is this? I don’t think I slept on any toys, and I know my chair feels fine.

This must be an alien branding. Who do I call to sell the picture?

.

ETA: This is the same bruise, in case that’s not clear. It’s morphing, apparently.

Read this story on newly-approved testing for Morgellons.

Then google images of it.

Holy crap it’s Aliens -ish.

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