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Redneck Girl: “‘LoNROcanoehowcanIhelpyew.”

Me: (confused pause) “..Oh, hi. Uh, do you have rafts there?”


Me: (laughing politely) “I bet people get confused by that all the time considering your name.”


RG: (long pause) “…I don’t get it.”

Me: …

Me:  “So anyway I was wondering if I could make a reservation for next weekend for 14 people?”

RG:  “Yeh.”

Me:  “Ok, how much are your rafts?”

RG:  “Two 6-man rafts seat 12.”

Me:  …

Me:  “Mmm.. I have 14 in my group.”

RG:  “6-man rafts cost a hunnerdtwenty.”

Me:  “So I guess I’ll need three.”

RG:  “We got 4-man rafts.”

Me:  …

Me:  “So I should probably do 2 4-man rafts and one 6-man raft. That’s 14 exactly. ”

RG:  “I guess.”

Me:  “How much are 4-man rafts?”

RG:  “Eighty.”

Me:  “Ok, so two-eighty for all three, right? And it says on your site here that camping is free, which is great because it’s more expensive up the road.”

RG:  (long pause) “I guess.”

Me:  …

Me:  “Is there someone else I should be talking to? I’m a little unsure we’re communicating very clearly.”

RG:  ….

RG:  ….

Me:  “Hello? Did I lose you?”

RG:  “Do you have access to a computer?”

Me:  “Uh. Yeah.. I just mentioned I was looking at the site right now..”


.. and the rest was blabber about credit card information and waivers and rules of the campsite. It got even more wiggedy wacked when I realized 10 seconds after I called that I actually had 15 people coming, and the solution was adding a small tube to my reservation. Seemed simple enough, but holy batman that poor girl was flummoxed.

To say that I am going to call again tomorrow to double check I wasn’t hallucinating the whole thing is so not a joke.

But I hope whoever used that search term to land here found what they needed anyway.

Um… what? Was DIABTES or ROSES or NASCAR already taken or something?

I promise I’m not being overly sensitive because I’m close to the topic, I just think that’s dumb. I mean WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!

Attempting to switch lanes during rush hour and thankfully realizing at the very last second you have a Porsche Carerra GT in your blindspot.

But looking at that stupid site has never failed to cheer me up, and this is another one that has me giggling like a wackadoo, so there ya go.


What is this? I don’t think I slept on any toys, and I know my chair feels fine.

This must be an alien branding. Who do I call to sell the picture?


ETA: This is the same bruise, in case that’s not clear. It’s morphing, apparently.

Read this story on newly-approved testing for Morgellons.

Then google images of it.

Holy crap it’s Aliens -ish.



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