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Far, far less interesting to tell, I’m sorry to say. Just that it was a beautiful outdoor wedding on a CO mountain top, and the second the officiant began to speak, my mother and I started giggling like crazy people, because he sounded like this, no lie:

The end.

And before you grab your pitchforks to hunt me down for being all evil Momsville, let me tell you that he and Brandon spent a long time on the internet machines going over the rides beforehand, and he was asking for that one in particular. And once again I am amazed by his perseverance. He obviously thought he was going to meet his maker in that picture, yet he was totally fine immediately afterward, telling me that the ride was horrible, and beaugarding my ice cream while suggesting we move on to the Fury of the Nile.

As Lorelei would say, he cracks me out. Sweet heysoos I love that boy.

An omniscient TIME KNOWER and BEDTIME MASTER. Who SINGS. And WORKS at WORK.

I will teach you to WALK because I am that awesome. Be jealous.

Last night when I was reading books at bedtime, I noticed she was humming a mashup of the Darth Vader theme and the traditional Wedding March. Then when I was kissing her goodnight she whispered to me that I looked as pretty as Queen Amidala.

Those monkeys fill up every extra space in my world with love.

First let me state that I’m an animal lover. I swear it. I am in fact notorious for taking in strays and was once banned from visiting the pound at K-State.

Now. Having said that, let me just shamefully admit that  I. CAN. NOT. STOP. SNICKERING. AT. THIS. Jessica Simpson’s allure – in any way – continues to mystify me (especially when she begins to speak) and I just can’t stop imagining the scene where she watches it happen with a wide-eyed blank stare. I’m sorry, but that’s straight out of a Christopher Guest movie.

RIP Daisy. Heh.

Earlier in the day the candle in the picture below had been both sgaghetti (spaghetti) and lenninade (lemonade), so hours after Lo left and I finally found my glasses, I had to wonder what purpose the glasses served.  Possibly something for the characters her brother’s always talking about? Say, a fork for Hookanabaka (Chewbacca), or maybe a straw for Dardader (Darth Vader)?

IMG_1186

Trust me when I say the world will never, ever know.

Lo (excitedly pointing): “Mommy, do you see him?”

Me: “Who, honey?”

Lo (gasping and peeking around the counter): “My friend Baredy.”

Me: “..Barry?”

Lo: “Yes! Right there!”

Me: “Barry White? That would be a feat..”

Lo: “No! It’s Barry Yellow! Hi Barry Yellow!”

1. My back hurts. I either pulled a muscle that will heal or I herniated a disk and am slowly dying a painful and hunched-over death. Ibuprofen and ice help, so I’ll assume I’ll live.

2. I’m getting very grumpy about finding a job. I don’t know what’s worse: no bites or being strung along and then told the job has been frozen due to the economy.

3. I watched the movie The Wrestler and highly suggest it. I dig Darren Aronofsky and give him (as everyone else has) mad props for eliciting a phenomenal performance from an historically creepy Mickey Rourke.

4. I  finished Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods and also recommend it. Partially because it was a reminder for me of camping as a kid, but mostly because the book is guffaw funny in many parts. Really. Like quietquiet BRUAHAHASNORT quietquiet kind of reading. Plus he sneaks in some history before you’ve even realized it. Clever fella, this guy.

5. My kids crack me up. Recently we started a game that goes as follows:

Me (to kids):  Guess what?

Kids: What?

Me: I love you!

Yeah, I know, it’s a happy loving cheesefest. Well, then one day, unaware that the game had been created, Jon answered ‘chicken butt’ to Jack’s initial question. A totally acceptable instinctive response from a child of the 80s. Unfortunately, the introduction of that kind of out-of-the-box thinking has gotten us to this stage:

Jack: Guess what?

Me: What?

Jack: There are birds flying out the window.

OR,

Lorelei: Guess what?

Me: What?

Lo: CHICKEN FINGERS!

6. Speaking of my kids, I really don’t know which direction this plays out in the ‘What’s Grosser Than Gross’ game. The fact that last week Jack was riotously laughing about being able to continually dig a booger out of his nose, or that every time Lo  – without second thought or awareness that this could be a game – would calmly lean over and slurp it right off.

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Sigh. Future Prom royalty, those two. I just know it.

So I exercised my cool-ass civil duty today, and the whole time I waited in my 40-minute line (so yeah, vote early if you can, kids, I imagine next Tuesday may be craaaazy) I kept giggling thinking of Borat in this:

Seriously. This was one of the funniest clips I’ve ever seen from him.

(And when we laugh, EVERYTHING seems better, no?)

Sorry! But I’ve been filing away things I wanted to share, so even if I’m copping out with all the links, my intentions are good (and totally random). That said:

1. This pretty much sums up my thoughts on the debate. And everyone should watch this at some point, because Tina Fey has officially creeped me out with the realism of her impersonation. I also like this and this and this and this.

(Thanks to my blogger friends and those who shared those with me.)

2. This is a genius (and simple) way to explain the mortgage crisis crizap: subprimecrisisinanutshell-1. A situation that has lead to this, which should make the above stick figures lose sleep.

3. Driving downtown yesterday, Jack declared that we were in Nyun York City. God I love that kid. He also hit another milestone:

Sigh.

4. Finally, I give up, and fully admit that I am who this site is talking about. Pretty much always.

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Happy Sunday,

XOXO

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But also choked-on-my-drink funny, so that assuages some of my guilt.

Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World

Mas manana, amigos.

First, the bruise update: Still hurts to poke, but the intergalactic message seems to have faded, so I’m assuming my role as conduit is over.

Second is a random cartoon I think is funny.

Next is a picture of what a future neck-ache looks like.

Finally, a song for my beloved Team Awesome, who plays their last kickball game tonight. I think a little Andrew W.K.’s “Party Hard” is apropos, yes?

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Have a good weekend!

Got this from a gal on my parenting board. Never heard of him, but I think it’s pretty clever.

Running for Office: It’s Like A Flamewar with a Forum Troll, but with an Eventual Winner

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