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Without actually having the capabilities to do so. I just don’t have very much I can talk about right now, but I know that’ll change soon, so uh, yeah. There you go.

Saw my beloved favorite New Yorkers last weekend:


Sam got some video of Lo hamming it up, and Maire’s cackling was the sweetest thing I’d seen in a long time. Love and miss you all, friends. It was great seeing you.


Let’s see.. Here’s a story that I realize has to be worded this way, but just struck me as such a colossal NO SHIT kind of obviousness:

Evangelicals, Republicans were biggest backers of gay marriage ban.

Whatever. Ridiculous all-around.


So officially I want to be Dooce. Well, I want to write like Dooce. I’m not the first to say it, either. I had a conversation recently about writing for fun vs as a living, and she flitted across my mind, along with the daydream of getting paid to blog. (Well, ok the last few months would be a poor portfolio, but let’s pretend this is a hiatus.) She is my current hilarious and self-deprecating writer heroine.

[Love the Fug Yourself girls also, but I have a harder time convincing people it’s the writing that keeps me going back there, so Dooce lends some credibility. Snort.]

And I think that’s it for today, which is good, because I just looked over and saw Lorelei finger painting with my coffee on the white chair rail. Woot!

Happy Thursday, everyone.

I wasn’t really going to write anything today, because I was feeling all WHY CAN I ONLY WRITE LISTS INSTEAD OF THOUGHTFUL AND PROFOUND PONDERINGS, but then JennDav sent an update on the Dennis Leary/autism incident, and I patted myself on the back for having held back on my vitriol. (Though I think this smugness might mitigate my maturity-progress a bit.) My opinion on his explanation still doesn’t completely exonerate him as far as I’m concerned – like I thought perhaps would be the case – but regardless I’m glad he acknowledged it. And of course, I love Jon Stewart so that’s always a reason to post something. Mmmmmm..

Secondly, Brandi asked the other day about the paci’s (which, did I ever mention that or is that mommy intuition kicking in already?) so I figured I’d update that with requisite picture.

Some background first: I let both my kids have pacifiers, and somehow we managed to wean Jack from his before Lo was born, with zero problems. In fact, I don’t even remember how it happened.. that kid is so easy sometimes. Lorelei, however, has been one of those kids; the ones that want to have a plug in their mouth at all times, in all places, and with others giving us that ‘she’s-going-to-go-to-kindergarten-with-that-thing’ look. I admit I was hesitant how to wean her of it, mostly because I had been a dedicated thumbsucker as a child (so much so that no gross-tasting nail polish or gloves would stop me, and I ended up having to have a retainer put in because the roof of my mouth was becoming too narrow. Yeah. For real. It was ridiculous – sorry Mom.), and I was really afraid my mini-me was the same way.

Basically, I didn’t know what to do: take away the paci and risk a thumb replacement, or let her continue something I knew wasn’t a self-soothing issue, but merely a stubborn habit – one that was possibly messing with her speech development. Sigh. But then I remembered my friend Amanda had employed the concept of the Paci Fairy successfully, and we decided to try it. I highly suggest it.

About two months ago, we started casually mentioning that on (around) her third birthday, the Paci Fairy was going to come and take all her paci’s to the new babies in the world. In return, like her sister Tooth, Paci would leave a small gift as a thank you. So last Saturday Lo decorated a bag


and before bed (and after I found her hiding under the covers with a deathgrip on a handful of pacifiers) we put them in, folded the top, and put it on the front porch for the fairy to retrieve during the night. Jack asked if he could stay up, since he had in fact missed meeting Tooth, but I told him that the fairies were cousins to Santa, and they wouldn’t come unless everyone was asleep.

[I’m sure there are some theories about why lying to my kids with such abandon is wrong, but holy batman I think it’s fun to make up these stories. Maybe they’ll be gullible enough to believe in some sort of seat belt boogeyman when they start driving..]

Anyway, she put ’em in, was out cold within ten minutes with nary a fuss, and in the morning was poking me and whispering excitedly that she wanted to see what presents had been left. Luckily, she thinks cheap beaded jewelry from the 80s – yes, mine – is beyootiful, so I saved my arse after having forgotten to get something.

Battles Won to date? Parents: 3, 876 – Kids: 11, 342, 999

What else.. Um, I did some skill testing today at a local temp agency and my scores were great. She said she hopes they can place me somewhere soon, but first I have to take a PowerPoint test (ran out of time today). Unfortunately I realized yesterday that I sort of leap-frogged PP to use more advanced design programs when I was tech writing, and I’ve never actually even opened it as far as I remember. But surely I can mungle my way through it; it’s Microsoft, so that should make it easily navigable, right? ….Snort.

And really I think that’s about it. It’s been a fairly uneventful week. Sure, I could talk about how the weather changed – oh, 50 degrees – in twenty hours, but if I’m scraping the bottom of the idea barrel to talk about Kansas weather, I need to just say goodbye and hang up.

So, I’ll leave you with some Louis Prima, which has made me boogie lately. Enjoy!

A second ago I was googling for a larger version of Bluto here

when I came across a picture of that English professor, Tom Murray, who was convicted of murdering his ex-wife. Anyone remember that or know of any updates beyond his appeal being denied?

Man he was a creepy dude. I had him just long enough to be in the majority of the class who failed his first international phonetic alphabet exam (which I still contest was stupidly unfairly graded. I knew that thing backwards and forwards, so voiced bilabial stop this, buddy) and I remember the first thing that popped into my head when I heard the breaking news was not shock but total belief he could have done it. Is that wrong?

Anyway, I’m talking to you Kedzie J-schoolers, so contact your sources and let me know if you find anything, por favor.

I keed.

So my friend Jenn sent me an article quoting Denis Leary’s ridiculous opinion about autism (along with an old one about Jenny McCarthy, but my views on that can easily be learned reading the archives), and was excited to think I had some choice words in response. And she’s not wrong. Two years ago I would have kicked some rhetorical ass ranting about it. Last year I would have at least attempted to denigrate him with a witty and acerbic barb.

But today I was just like.. eh, whatever, dumbass. Which honestly kind of surprised me at first. I mean, I may be exhausted, but my anger has reserves it can access pretty easily, and it’s not as if I care less about the subject – though in fairness, I’ll concede that some of the apathy could be that my autism advocacy has slipped in priority for myriad of reasons.

And I’m sure a large part is my general refusal to be goaded by assholes who are trying to create drama. I’ve never cared a whole lot either way for Leary (aside from his ode to the hyperlinked curse above, which I dig singing when appropriate), but I’ll gladly lump him in with those who think they can say whatever they want under the guise of pretending they don’t care about consequence. It’s actually one of the strongest traits I disrespect, and whatever, obviously Leary will earn some sort of consequence far more important to him than this random blogger’s venom.

Mostly, though, I think my reticence to care is based on my newest existential realization that there’s not a whole lot in life that really is as black and white as it seems, and because of that, I’ve been careful to not spout off as much, since I’ve learned firsthand just how easy it is to assume one knows all there is to know to make a judgment. So while I would be surprised if much/any/all of that quote could have been misconstrued or taken out of context (i.e., I probably have some valid fodder for being irate) the point here is that I’m learning to let some things go as not worth the emotional energy. Especially if my opinion would be empirically obvious, or better yet, wrong.

Ahhh, Maturity. You all here yet? I’m woefully behind, sister.

1. How this man did this. There is a video on CNN that has an interview with him, and he doesn’t seem to get why that would be ridiculous – outside of having gone behind his wife’s back. It leaves me speechless, honestly.

2. How illiteracy can travel all the way to print:

(A client’s label for my work – sorry it’s kind of blurry.)

3. Who called my cell phone three times in the middle of the night from a local hospital.. but didn’t leave a message. I have no friends or clients pregnant, and I’ve head-counted the people closest to me for injuries. It’s really frustrating to not know if something happened or if it was a wrong number.

4a. How the Ben Folds concert was originally $30 general admission, but has since gone up to $70. No one wants to go with me when it costs that much, and I can’t blame them.

4b. Why this cussing and epithet-filled song doesn’t offend me more. In fact I totally love it.

5. What in the hell this license plate of the owner of the company next to mine means: RGTRUDR


SO, if anyone has any ideas, you let me know, thanks!

Or: House-sitting for a family whose internet is broken.

Until I’m done, read this and start a debate! I expect profound comments when I get back, people. 😉

Sorry! But I’ve been filing away things I wanted to share, so even if I’m copping out with all the links, my intentions are good (and totally random). That said:

1. This pretty much sums up my thoughts on the debate. And everyone should watch this at some point, because Tina Fey has officially creeped me out with the realism of her impersonation. I also like this and this and this and this.

(Thanks to my blogger friends and those who shared those with me.)

2. This is a genius (and simple) way to explain the mortgage crisis crizap: subprimecrisisinanutshell-1. A situation that has lead to this, which should make the above stick figures lose sleep.

3. Driving downtown yesterday, Jack declared that we were in Nyun York City. God I love that kid. He also hit another milestone:


4. Finally, I give up, and fully admit that I am who this site is talking about. Pretty much always.


Happy Sunday,



Medieval torture is illegal, unfortunately.

Chinese officials arrest two men suspected of adding a dangerous chemical to baby formula.

For realz. I know zilch about politics, but had I realized just how exciting it could be, I would have become an amateur (political) pundit YEARS ago!

First the Palin announcement. I didn’t blog about it b/c what more could I say besides BITE ME IF YOU THINK I’M STUPID ENOUGH TO VOTE FOR HER JUST BECAUSE OF HER (OR, MORE SPECIFICALLY, MY) OVARIES. I got into a heated debate (wih a guy, of course) about whether she will pull any HRC voters, and I just don’t see how. Her stance is pretty much opposite, and in my opinion, the women voters who would choose the Republican ticket simply because she’s female might have possibly already been in that camp anyway. And I’m not trying to be bitchy – I really just think Palin was a bad choice if your demographic are Hillary-voters. Whatever.

But then, if I wasn’t already stoked about watching the RNC after the DNC, I hear about this! And then this!

What? Possible baby cover-ups! In a three-day-old VP nomination! Holy shit!

And obviously I’m a horrible person for spreading gossip which I absolutely admit could be crap. But the fact that I could just as easily believe it’s true surely says something about.. well… something, right? It just seems to give me some sort of smugness that my disenchantment with government can be so quickly validated, during what is my first real attempt to grow up and take the whole election process seriously.

Who knows. Obviously if Bristol has a baby the whole thing will be moot, duh. Two pregnancies, two babies. But, like everyone has said already – because nothing I say here is original, I know that – if Bristol conveniently miscarries, I will absolutely join the queue that believe the scandalous cover-up theory. Which then of course gives me not a little bit of schadenfreude towards McCain, because if you’re going to make such a poor decision of leader in the first place (for experience if nothing else), you surely should have taken the time to discover her massively neocon-backlashed secret.

And more than that, it will make me somewhat sad for Palin. I just feel like she’s going past an idea of ‘token’ straight to.. patsy, of some sort, though I’m not sure why that word comes to mind. I guess at this point I don’t think I dislike her, I just get the feeling she’s being used.

MOST importantly, however, is that I actually don’t judge her if her daughter IS (or, really, was) pregnant; which is probably the real reason I won’t be voting for her, because obviously I don’t fall in her actual demographic of voters.

Surely there’s irony in there somewhere.

I didn’t have much to say earlier, and I still don’t, but I figured I’d marry the Monday and Tuesday entries into a single Mueday one (or Tonday, I suppose. Whichever, the puns still fit.) since I feel neglectful and I know tomorrow will be busy.

So, had a fun, busy and game-filled weekend. Kickball on Friday, Olympics (GO PHELPS GO!) and poker game on Saturday and the Royals on Sunday. Thank God Jack was mungly and we had to leave early, because that game went into TWELVE innings. Crazy.

We found out that a friend of ours is Jack’s teacher for this year, which is great news. I really think she will be firm enough with him and honest enough with me to continue our success. Also, the transition should be easier since he knows her. But, whenever we’ve talked about it, he’s proclaimed that he will definitely go to Kindergarten, but not school. So we’ll see what that really means on Friday. Send some relaxed vibes this direction, por favor, because I just have a feeling it’s either going to be awesome or simply horrible. There’s rarely an in between with Jack. Sigh.

Let’s see.. I’m sort of bummed about Bernie Mac, but the Isaac Hayes news means virtually nothing to me. And that actually kind of makes me feel guilty, since really, I knew neither, so whatever feelings I have seem arbitrary anyway. Odd how that works, eh? I mean, I don’t know Matt Damon either, but it’s a safe bet I’d be more than ‘sort of bummed’ if he died.

Good thing he’s invincible.

So here’s the latest Teen Girl Squad entry on Homestarrunner. Be aware if you’ve never gone there that the humor is.. particular. We giggle like idiots, but that’s because we’ve watched enough to anticipate the characters.

Oh, I know! My birthday is in SIX DAYS. I will be thirty…. one. Not very exciting. But regardless, mark your calendars for August 17th. I was born a day after Elvis died and my mom said that the gal in the hospital room with her was distraught, and named her kid Elvis. Poor guy. I think of him every year.

Finally, the YTT(M) installment is a DJ called Girl Talk. He has mashed some of the coolest songs* evar, and I picked the section that seemed the most accessible here. I totally love it, but I think it’s probably not up everyone’s alley. At any rate, if you do dig it, go here and download it for free ala Radiohead. Good times.

*If you go to Youtube you can see the lists of songs used in each section.

Damn but I’m a yapper.

[First tangent: This is awesome. Tell me again why they get to host?]

So I just realized it’s been almost a week since I posted last. And it’s funny to me that that seems like a long time if I think of it in that measurement, but not if I just think back to being busy. C’est la vie and all that, eh? That and I’m sure I was thinking I’d write when I had some sort of thoughtful commentary to share. Snort.

We’re planning a float trip for this weekend, so we’re trying to get organized for that. I’m finding it funny how you can get a group of educated adults together and the details of such a seemingly uncomplicated trip (a tent, some grub, some beer and you float down a river – doesn’t require a passport or even coherent thought, actually) manage to have us all running around crashing into each other in confusion. An event planner I am not, that I know for sure now. The only preparation I’ve been doing is drinking crappy beer leftover from kickball games as a warning to my system.

THAT SAID, I think maybe my summer has been filled with a tad too many parties and a tad too few vitamins. Or maybe just nourishment in general.  I counted yesterday and I literally have 30 bruises on my legs. I’ve had two people ask me honestly if I’m being beaten b/c of the bruises on my arms. It’s baaaaaaaaad. And I’ve tried to up my B’s, but it’s more than that too. When I looked on the interwebs, the causes included weight loss (check), vitamin deficiency (assumed), extended periods of stress (check) and blood disorders (uh.. let’s not go there yet). Need to step up and take care of myself, I know. I’m on it.

THAT SAID, (ahh I never get tired of my own cleverness) I took the dive and started some antidepressants this weekend. And as a disclaimer, I’m not an elitist about those at all, I think they can be necessary when all other avenues have been tried first or in tandem. But the truth is that it was really hard to break the seal that said GlaxoSmithKline on it. I have no shame in admitting my life is stupidly complicated for me right now, but I do about having to dig into the pharma candy bag. I didn’t even know how to fill my script, it’s been so long. But, that’s the kind of pride-swallowing even I am rolling my eyes at, so it’s all good. And of course the fun part is that months after we decided to lower our insurance coverage (since we don’t go to the doctor enough to warrant paying the extra hundred some-odd dollars a month) I finally need the insurance. Cost of these little happy pills per month? $140. Nice. I bet E is cheaper than that.

In other news, I watched two episodes of Hopkins and am now boycotting it. The first yanked my heartstrings when it followed a toddler getting a heart transplant. But yay! he survived and all the tears turned happy in the end. But the second one followed the family of a little girl who essentially drowned, and the entire world was privy to everything from the mother’s vomiting reaction to the decision of taking her off life support. Personally I thought it was vile and reprehensible, not to mention the worst kind of voyeurism. That’s private and unimaginable grief, and to know it was shown on television for no purpose other than to show what it’s like to work in a hospital is mind boggling. When I think of my friend’s death, I can’t even imagine cameras being there. I personally would have broken it if someone filmed what was thus far one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. I just simply think that is twisted. I know Hopkins is not the first show to do this, but I can’t believe it’s done in general, and on a major network. I dunno. I feel the same way about coverage of funerals. That’s beyond macabre to me. Ok, end rant.

[Hmm. What a downer post this is sounding like. Odd, since I’m not feeling that way currently. Guess the meds haven’t kicked in enough yet, ha!]

Ok, I think that’s about all I can think of. I didn’t finish my book club book, but it bored me, so I’ll go with that as the excuse. I’m seeing Dark Knight officially tomorrow – on IMAX! Woot! – so I’m sure I’ll be jonesing to discuss it on Wednesday. Lo’s still the cutest damn thing ever and Jack’s new thing is to yell with his mouth in an O shape and call it whistling. It’s greeeeaaaat!

I’ll leave you with a happy song. It’s not new (Timbaland’s ‘Way I Are’), but I finally snagged it, and Meg and I danced to it for like, an hour this weekend. Because yes, we are actually that dorky.

Ciao, friends.

Hola, how is everyone? It will be another stupidly hot day here in the middle of America, so I’m going to take dinner to cook on the sidewalk when we’re at the park today. Sigh. I hate summer. YES, I DO.

So I saw Rosemary’s Baby recently. I’d always heard it was creepy as hell, but I have to say I was surprisingly (especially for me, an avowed scary movie avoider) unfrightened. Sure the premise is fascinating and plausible enough. But maybe because it was filmed in the 60s – thus for me ruining the idea of suspension of disbelief needed – or because I can’t relate to the idea of protagonists that annoyingly naive, but I couldn’t get into it. Virtually every character seemed farcical to me, so I was interested throughout, but aside from a few moments of suspense, I was not affected. And the scene at the end where she makes her final discovery was almost laughable to me, really. I mean, COME ON! And I say all this as someone with no elitism about films, so I’ll go ahead and put out there that maybe I’m the one missing something if all the film buffs I’ve ever met loved it. I like the way Polanski set up some of the shots, and the clothing/setting/makeup was great, but the rest was very eh to me. Anyone agree or disagree? What’s your favorite scary movie?

Let’s see.. Mmm haven’t seen Dark Knight yet, so I’d appreciate if everyone on earth could hold off a little longer to discuss it so I can join in, mkay? Especially because of this article about Christian Bale possibly assaulting his mother and sister. I don’t know, but I refuse to believe it. I dig Mr. Bale, and I don’t want that ruining my experience. Bah.

I have 6 days to read Reading Lolita in Tehran before my book club. It’s my challenge to do it.

And finally, the youtube installment for today is The Tiny’s ‘Closer’.

Ok, all the rambling I have for today. Happy Tuesday, friends.

Britney Spears has agreed to K-Fed having sole custody

Could make me cry if I thought about it long enough, but surely that has to be for the best.

Voters to decide on naming sewage plant after Bush


HIV vaccine trial canceled

Hm. I could write an entire post on this alone, and it wouldn’t be all rant. However this whole thing is particularly fraught with blurred ethical lines. If I thought they could create a vaccine whose efficacy rate was high enough, the benefit could outweight my usual concerns with possible long-term consequences of the vaccine itself and I’d squarely place this one in the grey area. However, like the story mentions, thus far it’s been a catastrophe, and previous trials have given recipients the virus. I respect the fact that the scientists are admitting they don’t know enough about how HIV changes the immune system, but I also know it’s just a CYA for Merck, who funded the last study. Wolf in sheep’s clothing and all that. Either way, I’m interested to keep up on this, because this isn’t in the same ridiculous category as say, chicken pox.

Emmys snub Wire *again*

I am honestly offended. And in the words of my favorite leader Cedric Daniels, I think this is BULLshit.

Rick Reilly’s an overpaid, under-qualified shlock writer and I can’t wrap my brain around why anyone likes him.

That’s all.

We decided to extend our trip a couple days, so we’re still in Colorado (and I still may not ever return). Pictures to come. 8)


Beyond that, the main reason for this post is THIS! Hot damn this is progress! Anita was the midwife who caught Lo, and I’m so happy for her and everyone else in the homebirth community. Really – this is huge, huge news.

So that’s it; we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled nonsense in a few days. Have a good weekend!

So I often add some powdered hot chocolate to my morning jetfuel (Because I’m still a little too I like my sugar with coffee and cream Beastie Boyish, thanks.) and when we have raw goat milk, I’ll add that to it, ala the Big Mac/Diet Coke kind of thinking. Fine. But yesterday, Jack found an old box of Spiderman mac n’ cheese in the pantry –

[Sidenote: Does anyone else think the funky noodle shapes taste different than the regular noodles? How is that?! Why wouldn’t it be the same ingredients as regular noodles, but just stamped into a different mold?!]

– and demanded to eat it for lunch. To assuage some of my guilt I only put in half the cheese packet, and added some ingredients from the fridge in hopes of creating some semblance of health. Ok, great.

So. This morning, after making my delicioso 7-step coffee, I randomly grabbed for the half packet of chocolate left over from yesterday – you know where this is going – and instead dumped the rest of the craptastic powdered cheese into my gloriously oversized mug. Luckily, I noticed I was stirring around BRIGHT ORANGE, and some synapse fired enough to recognize that Houston had a problem.

Alas, the day was not ruined, because making that complicated coffee means we always have a lot left over. And the second go-round was much more smooth. But that still should be a lesson for JON to NOT BUY SPIDERMAN MAC’NCHEESE AT THE STORE. BECAUSE IT DOESN’T EVEN TASTE GOOD ANYWAY.

Let’s see. How is everyone? Things are pretty good here. Oscar is pretty much 100% healed. He has a hella scar running up his belly with staples in it, and I’m considering calling him Zip(per) from now on. Or, Oscar the WonderMoron. Or Economy Stimulus Check. Whichever.

Jon is donating bone marrow next week b/c he is a match for someone, and that is so ridiculously cool. I’m not sure what all it entails, but truly, we should all be so lucky there are people out there who would do something so painful and altruistic. You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.

For those of you who know of my long-standing fascination with the West Memphis Three case, I was directed to this video yesterday that sums it up much more quickly than the two documentaries. Go. Watch. Get involved. I cried yesterday thinking not only of the injustice, but the arbitrariness of HBO getting involved in the first place. It scares me to think of all the other backwoods, backassward trials slipping through the cracks.

That Alex Barton thing I (and eleventybillion other people) wrote about has literally exploded, due to the outrage of the autism community. As per usual I’m slightly irritated that autism is the main reason it caught national attention, but it has opened a huge path for discussion of neurodiversity, which is stupidly overdue. Again (againagainagain), I’m not wholly sure I can be in either camp, but enlightenment is still progress, obviously.

I am digging on this song, big time.

I finished the book Middlesex last week. I think it’s a great choice for everyone; it has a lot of underlying themes that can be discussed thoroughly. Plus, I get the impression that the author might be the type who wrote a cool story but didn’t actually mean for it to be that purposely layered. Who knows. It’s the guy who wrote The Virgin Suicides, and it’s a cool book anyway, despite his goofy jacket picture.

Only 23 days until we leave for Colorado. Hu-freaking-zah, I’m deliriously excited. I hate summer in Kansas.

I think that’s it. Love to all.



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