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Driving Lorelei to a slumber party, unsure if the address I have is correct.
Me: Hey Lo, do you know if Lydia lives in Ava’s neighborhood, where we went to Girl Scouts at that school last year?
Lo: Uh, I dunno.
Me, driving down the street: Does this look familiar at all?
Lo: Uh, I dunno.
Me: You’ve been to Lydia’s a couple times, right?
Me, pulling up to a brown house associated with the address I think it is: Is this it?
Lo: I dunno. I’ll ring and ask if Lydia lives here.
Jack, in the same scenario set up.
Me: Hey Jack, do you know if your friend lives in that neighborhood we went to that park once last year that had a zipline at it?
Jack: Yes, you go down that street that has Price Chopper, and then you turn right on the street where Aaron, my friend from pre-school we once had a playdate at his house lives, then you take a left at that big house with the old car in front. I’m pretty sure the house we’re going to used to be painted blue, but I think they painted it brown last year.
Of course, some things don’t change. Jack still won’t leave his sister alone, and Lo won’t stop changing her clothes.
But the heads are still able to tuck under my chin when I hug them, and the feet are still cute enough to photograph.
And I’m grateful the memories are captured.
Hiya my sweet Lo-Lo,
You were born 1825 days ago – more or less some leap year math.
I never knew before you that I could spend every waking moment with someone.
And never need a break.
But, you baby girl, stole my heart immediately.
And I have happily followed you around since then.
Because who wouldn’t? You are one of the most amazing individuals I’ve ever met.
You are so wickedly clever.
And so joyful in life.
You inspire me. Quite honestly.
So happy birthday, my sweet, beautiful monkey girl.
I love you more than I could ever fully explain.
1. The new health care bill. I have no insurance (for those that might remember that I had gotten that job at the spa, I never bothered to update that for a variety of reasons on their end, it didn’t work out and the insurance was never started. No ill will from either side, but obviously no insurance either. And yes, I’ve tried through the state – but since I am not pregnant, I don’t qualify); I haven’t seen a doctor for the rotator cuff I’m preeeetty sure I tore a year ago. Because, it will then become ‘pre-existing’ for me to qualify to actually get insurance, and that’s just ridiculous bullshit. Plus we all know there are people out there for which naproxen isn’t enough.
2. Jack starts soccer tomorrow. I hope something fierce that he loves it. His friend’s dad is the coach, and that’s a huge relief for me.
3. Lorelei in this video from a couple weeks ago. She had been singing the damn Heyawk song all afternoon, and had just started singing some made up lyrics to the alphabet song. I tried to snag it and obviously my impatience at her Benedict Arnold leanings showed. Check at the end where she tucks her marker – uncapped – into her sleeve before walking off.
4. How far my Cats will go, and how difficult it’s been to not be more of a wench to those KU fans that are so obnoxious the other 97% of the time they don’t dramatically lose.
5. How much the new Gorillaz album kicks ass. This is “On Melancholy Hill”:
6. This nebulous zone I’m at now with old friends. My world has (logically) divided into PRE- and POST-DIVORCE, but I guess I never would have thought I’d lose touch with so many people. For some I’ve tried sometimes successfully to keep up, others I’ve waited on them, and licked my wounds. The rest were not unlike slicing off a tumor, and couldn’t have come at a better time. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fairly hurt I didn’t get more Christmas cards from the people I thought had ‘crossed over’. I admit that this is pretty superficial to care about, but really, aren’t the point of cards simply to acknowledge that someone thinks you count enough to get a greeting? There is no one I want to see that I don’t have some sort of interwebs connection with, so the idea of my being un-findable, sadly, can’t count. I’m thinking about shearing off the hundred or so people on Facebook that I either don’t honestly care about, or I feel relatively confident are just keeping the friendship to stalk my goings-on when they so desire. My boyfriend hates FB, and I can’t say I always blame him. Shrug.
7. Somewhat in the same vein, that Jon and I have decided to throw Jack’s birthday party this year jointly, including new significant others and estranged previous in-laws. Plus all the friends who had to choose Team Jen or Team Jon when this began. We’re hoping that if we can act normally, then everyone else can stuff it and follow along. I personally think handing out shots called Tension Relievers might facilitate this progress, but we’ll see. Either way the intent is good, let’s all hope it can be done.
8. That J. Davo is moving back. Hooray for Kedzie Hall reunions in the near future!
9. How much every year at the beginning of spring I look back and realize just how incredibly affected I was by winter’s lack of sun and warmth. And how every year I tell myself I’ll be better about taking my vitamin D, and YET I NEVER DO.
10. How much I loved the movie Alice In Wonderland. I love Tim Burton. Love, love, love. Also that the main girl looks like the child of Gwyneth Paltrow and Claire Danes. Right?
11. I’ve noticed a few wrinkles lately – which wasn’t a panic of vanity – but was a wake up call that I have got to start being better to my body. There used to be a time when eating Taco Bell would have made me sick. Now it’s gotten to where I look and feel blah all the time. I’m going to try to wean myself of coffee, and along with the CSA we just joined, eat more fruits and vegetables. BECAUSE I’VE EATEN ONIONS RECENTLY, PEOPLE. MORE THAN ONCE. DO YOU KNOW HOW HUGE THAT IS?
12. My beloved friend, the beautiful Miss Emily, has asked me to attend her birth as her doula, and I can’t explain how excited I am. I. Love. Babies. And. Birth.
Happy (sunny, hopefully) Tuesday, y’all.
Last night when I was reading books at bedtime, I noticed she was humming a mashup of the Darth Vader theme and the traditional Wedding March. Then when I was kissing her goodnight she whispered to me that I looked as pretty as Queen Amidala.
Those monkeys fill up every extra space in my world with love.
I’ve never been wholly down with the whole Santa thing, the least of which because I think the materialism of the holiday is indoctrinated so concretely (not to mention so early) that way. I try – like most parents I know – to teach my kids to be kind, generous people. But the holidays just seem so danged commercialized, and it’s hard to keep focus. I know there are plenty of options for charity and selflessness, but it still often seems to be so, well, tax deductive, and I’m not so sure we haven’t bastardized the entire point by channeling it to a one-month period in the whole year. People need clothing in June, as well, as far as I can see. And for a year or two I tried to muster up the whole Jesus/reason/season vs Santa=satan anagram, but like I’ve since admitted, in the end that indoctrination wasn’t my bag either.
Especially because I could take Jack to church to learn about baby Jesus and then promptly go into the lobby to sit on Santa’s lap.
But I digress.
The truth is I’ve been secretly stoked in the past that Lo was too young, and Jack just never seemed to care, about Santa or the whole production of Christmas. We ran around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to appease family expectations, but overall we didn’t do nearly as much as most Americans seem to during this time. The kids got a shitton of gifts, and many hours were consequently spent donating old toys, but to date they really hadn’t totally lost their minds about wanting things. Mostly because they have no real idea of want.
But my blessedly procrastinated reprieve is over, and at four and six the kids have now fully embraced that bountiful benefactor of booty. No pretense for goodwill or good behavior, Christmas has simply and unabashedly become the ticket to the goods. Jack wants a Lego set that happens to be FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS. He has no idea of what the cost really means, he just wants it because he thinks it’s cool. But ole St. Nick (and Toys R Us) have full-on convinced my sweetly gullible -and literal- child that all he has to do is write it down on the list and voila! it will be produced.
Because that’s what SANTA DOES, RIGHT?
So what do I do when he’s upset I can’t get him a FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR Lego set? Tell him it was because he wasn’t good enough? That there was a shortage of plastic up North? I have no idea. But we’ll figure it out because we always do. And he’ll survive because he’s a champ.
And please don’t fully misunderstand me, I’m not really on the train to Cynicalville. I do actually like the holiday season because I get to see my family and friends more, and that always makes me happy. But it’s a hard balance for me as a mother, and I want to do better for my kids.
[I also want a law that declares Christmas music illegal until December 20th. Especially that creepy making-out-with-Santa-song. I mean really, how many confusing messages can we possibly send this time of year?! But I digress again.]
So because our ridonkulously overwhelming and draining year is over, I resolve to expand my kids’ horizons and attempt to dismantle the materialism they swim in so comfortably. Or at least temper it with some of the kindness and giving I’ve seen them possess in large quantities. I look forward to it – it will be good for all of us. And now that I’ve also purged my bah humbuggery for the season, I can happily post the letters the kids wrote today, because all other tiring issues aside, I think they’re hysterical, and the kids will never know they are skipping the mailbox and going into my treasure box.
Welcome to parenting, right?
I want for chrismrs the Legos set 7627 Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull. I would also want the Lego Indiana Jones 2 video game. I want the Legos Star Wars Death Star I want the Ewok set.
I would like a dolly to name Lorelei please. And also cute little puppy dogs. And a baby pig for Christmas. And I want a baby giraffe and a baby puppy dog and a little baby giraffe. So I want that. Please. I want to have a baby puppy dog. And a baby ricenocerous. And a bottle for the baby rosernous.
I love you and thank you,
Happy Holidays, friends. 😉
I so had planned to set aside like an hour or so to write a cohesive post, but it ain’t happening. So here’s the list version. I do love me some lists.
1. Got a new p/t job that provides insurance. It’s at a spa that does massage, so part of my training was – I kid you not – to get a 90 minute massage so I can ostensibly provide proper feedback to clients. Sigh. Life is rough sometimes.
2. This song is one of Lorelei’s newest favorites. She’s a hoot singing and headbobbing in the backseat to it.
2a. This one is a contender for top three of 2009 for me. Scottish accents and a chorus like that? Yar.
3. Speaking of my sweet, sweet baby girl, she just turned FOUR. FOUR I TELL YOU.
Good Lord I love that girl.
4. Part of her other gift was this, Millie Vanilla:
SO CUTE. And boy howdy is she a sweet one. Reminds me of Lucy, for those that knew her. 🙂
And that’s it for now, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and stays warm!
Me: Hey guys, is it OK if we just sit quietly for a while? I have a headache and that will make it go away faster.
………………………………………………………....[ 45 seconds pass ]
Jack: Mom, I’m being so quiet for you because I love you and I want your headache to go away.
Me: I know, buddy. Thank you. I love you too.
Jack: I love you too, Mommy.
Lo: And I love you too! And Jack too!
Me: I’m so glad. Can we try to just watch the sun go down and think about our day?
…………………………………………………………..[ 15 seconds pass]
Jack: Hey Mom, do you see how quiet I’m being so your headache goes away?
Me: Oh I do and I appreciate it. But if I can have a little more quiet it will totally go away. OK?
…………………………………………………………...[ a minute passes ]
Lorelei: MOM JACK’S TOUCHING ME!
Jack: Shh! Mommy has a headache and needs to have quiet!
Lo: Oh yeah. I forgot.
Jack: See Mom? I’m trying to keep it quiet in the car so your headache goes away.
Me: And your heart is in the right place, mister, I love it. But, see, we keep talking and because of that it’s not really very quiet in the car, is it?
Jack: Yes it is! I told you I’m being quiet! I’m being quiet so your headache goes away!
Me: I know you’re trying baby, but when we talk we’re not actually being quiet. Don’t you see? We need to actually not talk at all for it to be silent. No one. Not you or me or Lo. Just everyone thinking their thoughts.
Jack: But I AM being quiet!
Me: Welp. Keep on keepin’ on, then, I guess.
……………………………………………………………[ a minute passes ]
Jack: Right Mom?
Me: Right what?
Jack: That I’m SO GOOD at what you asked me to do. I’m not talking like you asked me to.
Me: *sigh* I know you’re doing what you can to help. Thank you baby.
Jack: You’re welcome.
Lo: You’re welcome!
Lorelei, unprompted yet whispering very shyly and quietly to the man behind the counter: “Can I please have a sucker?”
Man: “Sure, sweetie! And you’re so cute you can have two!”
Lo, mumbling: “Thank you berry much.”
Lo, not two minutes later in the car, nearly screaming with excitement: “I’M SO HAPPY I MIGHT JUST SHARE THIS NUMBER TWO SUCKER WITH MY BROTHER WHEN I GET HOME!”
Until Where The Wild Things Are opens. Giggitygiggitygiggity I’m excited.
So, I got busted recently by a friend who accused me of falling off the earth, and I couldn’t really defend myself because I’m not sure if the writing’s not on the wall for ye olde Huzzah. It rolled through my brain yesterday while I was mentally writing a sarcastic letter to the makers of this product (the letter saying roughly that perhaps putting MENTHOL in a product made to be used around EYEBALLS might not have been the best idea) that I should possibly abandon this blog and start one where all I do is write letters to people. Shrug. We’ll see.
Until then, an update, more-or-less.
Work has been good. And crazy. And de-cluttering. Which is soothing. Which is odd to say about your job, but there you go. One of my latest projects is separating old files that go back before 1983 (!!). Holy batman but my relegated space to do this is filling up. The files are beginning to grow like moss onto other walls and furniture. And what you can’t see are the.. oh.. 15 other boxes out of the picture?
The kids are doing pretty well. We’ve started the token/marble earning system for good behavior, and it works pretty dang well, except that Lorelei has no idea what she’s earning or that she could/should start using those tokens to get things she wants. Jack uses all of his up for DS/Xbox time, and is learning the hard lesson of saving versus immediate reward. We’ll see..
Lo’s been extra-clingy lately, but I’m trying to roll with it. She’s not doing it always or to all of her loved ones, but when she gets her genuine sad look and asks for a 50th hug? Your heart breaks in half.
I also think what’s compounding my own sadness is that the best friend of some of my good friends died last week, and his service is this Saturday. Doug had a just-turned one year-old, and your mind can’t escape the what-ifs of that whole situation. He was a super, super cool guy, and my heart goes out to not only his wife and sweet babe, but also my friends who are hurting so deeply. I know that pain – and maybe not even as much – and it just.. friggen sucks. Blerg.
But my overall contentment is pretty even. I tentatively feel like maybe things are settling down and becoming less turbulent. Most of the wounds from all facets of the divorce have closed up, and I think most of the relationships that were going to be salvaged, were repaired. I love and feel loved again. That’s comforting.
So yeah.. I think that’s about it at the moment. I’m doing fairly well in my fantasy league, cool weather has set in, and RW/RR has begun a new season. Life isn’t too bad.
But now I gotta run and get the kids from school so I can give them a big hug and be thankful they’re safe and happy and healthy. Do the same with your loved ones.
Please take note, as some of these things might take some time to find.
– a horse
– purple spray paint
– a unicorn
– a flashlight
– a tutu
– a Hello Kitty band aid
– a Hello Kitty toothbrush
– an ice cream cone
– a green hair ribbon
– Sleeping Beauty (the movie)
– Princess Legos
– a puppy
– a baby sister
– a princess book
– a hammer
– ET (the actual alien)
– a drink of pop
– a gumball
– pink nail polish
– a butterfly
– an in-ground swimming pool
RIP John Hughes. I’m going to watch ‘Some Kind of Wonderful’ tonight just for you.