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Dig it. Saw this as a blogmemeideawhatever, and I’m totally stealing it because I love having an excuse to write my posts as lists. Onward ho.

1. I, too, just got the new Buzz for gmail, and see now why my friend said it was becoming goobook. I love me some google, so I’m down. (I was also a wave behind some friends on the new FB layout, and I gotta say it feels a wee bit like being picked last for teams again in junior high.)

2. I’ve begun to edit a book in my spare time for a very nice gentleman who is in a writer’s circle with a friend. The money I make will be nice, but more than that it feels good to use my brain in a comfort zone; getting paid to (essentially) read books would be a cool profession to work toward.

3.  A dear friend from college is back in town for a few months, and is pregnant with her second child. Seeing her and being there for a prenatal visit has me more excited than I’ve been in a while about birth. I’ve been decidedly on hiatus with Bradley stuff, mostly b/c I feel like I shouldn’t be teaching impressionable first-time parents about what is often one of the most important days of their life, if I don’t have my shit (al)together personally. I have the knowledge and the passion to teach, but I don’t want to do it half-assed, and something just doesn’t feel right at the moment to try and pretend I can give them the focus and attention they deserve. Soon hopefully, but not yet. At least not for strangers. However attending births as a doula is a different thing, and I’m itching for another one. We’re coming up on a year since my last birth, and I’m getting baby crazy again. Either way, I’m hoping to take E with me to the next birth conference; the key speakers will be uhmaaaazing to see.

4. Divorce sucks. Even when you can pat yourself on the back for being amicable, it’s a messy, tiring and trust-eroding event that doesn’t simply end with the court date.

5. That said, we have Jack’s conferences tonight, and I am proud that we can have periods of pretty wicked fighting, but still remember what it was like to be friends – enough that we can put it aside and work together on things involving the kids. Co-parenting (aka My Not Having Full Control Over Every Aspect Of My Children’s Lives) has been the hardest part for me, hands-down.

6. I need to set up a new paypal account so I can renew my imbedding space so I can actually imbed songs instead of sending you to youtube to listen to the song “Sweet Disposition”. It was in the previews for 500 Days of Summer, so when it became popular recently I immediately remembered liking it. I’m sure I’ll tire of it pretty quickly, especially if it’s getting radio play, but until then I LOVE IT. Even with the U2 sounding beginning. I’m such a sucker for pop.

7. My boyfriend and I have the opportunity to piggyback on some friends’ vacation to San Francisco in May, and I’m trying to finagle finances to make it work. Mama needs a vacation, people.

8. Soon I will update the kids’ dictionary, but I’ll start (and publicly remind myself to do it) with Lorelei’s saying yets instead of lets, and Jack’s version of glubs instead of gloves. Heh.

9. My friend Liz and I are starting a business where we write or edit dating profiles for people. Not sure how it will go, but how awesome would that be to not only make enough money to work from home but ALSO bring couples together, one dating site at a time? Huzzah, right?! Win-win in my book, so head our direction for help, por favor.

10. And that’s it. I have the squiggly lines in my vision that prelude a migraine (possibly from navigating Buzz), so I’m going to say goodbye and happy Wednesday. Hope all is well in your worlds.

Sigh. I had a whole long rant written out about how freaking pissed off I am about this local hospital’s policy about separating mamas and babies for two days if mom shows signs of having H1n1, but I deleted it. I realized that there is no way I can write about this without offending a whole lot of people, and it’s just not in me right now.

I understand that this policy is supposed to protect babe from a scary, admittedly, virus, but to completely negate the – in my not even humble opinion – crucial factors that make those first few days irreparably important just makes me sad. These mamas need those hours for endorphin release. For milk production. For bonding. The thought of little babies in plastic cubes away from the one person whose smell and sound is the only thing they’ve ever known is barbarous to me.

I’m fully aware that many people think I’m a nutjob for my natural-leaning opinions, but I don’t see how there could be any mother who could have a healthy birth – of any kind – and not think something is just instinctively wrong when a member of the hospital staff walks away from you with your brand new miracle. I don’t care if you know that the colostrum that baby is missing out on has more antibody protection than the Fort Knox of quarantines, or that the hormones you might be missing out on could actually prolong your hospital stay if your uterus doesn’t contract well enough, or even that just having that baby at home – with full-on flu – is still statistically the safer choice, especially in relevant terms of nosocomial and iatrogenic infections. That really doesn’t matter. I’m just sad that we’ve gone so far from our instinctive biological histories that this is even an option. It’s just wrong.

I really don’t think I’m the nutjob. I just don’t.

But I spent my night watching a sweet, chubby baby be born to one helluva strong mama.

I so win.

First, I’ve totally jumped on the Fleet Foxes bandwagon. This is “Blue Ridge Mountains”. Sometimes they sound almost 50s-ish, but I think this song taps into a CSN&Y sound, with Young being the main comparison to me. Regardless, it’s just a cool band.

So I don’t really have a whole lot of time to delve into big stuff, thus this will be another fairly simple post: updates and pictures. Like everyone else, things are just kind of flying along, with periods of quiet when I try to catch my breath and collect my thoughts.

[Speaking of, I’ve been thinking lately about the benefits of meditation. I get the point, but how does one center themselves smack in the middle of a stressful moment? Don’t you need to be able to be still to access that tranquility? I’m curious.]

Things are picking up at work; I’m understanding things better, and for the most part it’s beginning to click. My doula couple is now technically “past due” [insert placemark for future rant here] and I’m never far from my phone  (of which I have a new one, and though I dig it, I’m obviously having a hard time mastering the dumb thing, as the picture of Whomp and me below attests).  Jack graduated from Kindy last week, and it’s simply surreal to think that three short years ago he was non-verbal. As in unable to talk or carry a conversation at all.  It’s just nutso to think how far he’s come, my sweet, tenacious little fartknocker. I went to a Killers concert recently (SO much fun) and hopefully will go to the Ben Folds coming up (come on out, Baby F!). We also have a float trip the first weekend in June (Seriously, Baby F, I’m not kidding.).

And that’s about it. We’re going to my ‘rents today for a cookout to celebrate a belated Mother’s day, and that sums up the rest of my weekend. Hope all is well out there. Ciao amicos!

I just can’t get over how she annihilates an ice cream cone.

IMG_0022

Meg and I celebrating her birthday. Apparently in mime paint…

whompbirthday

Happy, toothless Jack on the last day of school.

Jackgrad

1. This article is pretty cool. The epidural rate here is in the 90th percentile, and surely – surely – if you think about that you’d have to realize that that’s illogical. There are myriad risks associated with epidurals, and for it to be treated with the casualness of a Tylenol is ridiculous. A medical necessity, absolutely. But not for 90+ women out of a hundred.

2. It’s bitter cold and slushy and after 17 years of defending my love of chilliness based on some native Colorado elitism I am ready to admit that I AM FREAKING TIRED OF THIS  WEATHER.

3. My kids were puketastic all weekend (the pic of Lo is from a few weeks ago) and I am wiped today. But can I say again, in full-on guilt mode, that I cherish when Jack is not feeling well? He’s just cuddly and, well.. calm when he’s sick, and after relieving any mama worry that he’s in any danger, I just get to relax and spend quiet time with him. Such a parental paradox. Shrug.

 

Happy Monday, all.

  • Interesting story postulating that global warming is irreversible. The comments at the bottom are equally as fascinating; I’d love to have a roundtable with some Christians I know..
  • Speaking of, Anne Rice has had a conversion back to her Catholic roots.
  • So Brain Age said I was like.. 78? Yeah, well, suckit, Nintendo. I knew I was smarter than your silly little game.
  • Two very thought-provoking films I’ve seen recently were Milk and Business of Being Born. Would love to have a discussion with anyone about the social issues they encompass.
  • Reading this and digging it; lurve Chuck Klosterman.
  • The song “Count Souvenirs” by Junior Boys has been on repeat lately. It’s awesomely Depeche Mode-y.

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That’s all. Stay warm, friends~ .

D’oh, I knew there was something I was forgetting!

I WAS FINALLY APPROVED TO START TEACHING BRADLEY!

HOT DAMN!

Ever have so much going on that you feel like you just don’t have the energy to explain any of it?

Hmm let’s see. I’m week two-ish of the Wellbutrin, and I’m feeling some side effects, for sure. I noticed some rushes of extreme frustration/aggression/irritability that would lash out during illogical times. I know my temper, and the triggers for it. And these swift reactions were so out of place it only took a day or two to attribute it to the meds. I also have had a couple periods where I felt everything heightened to the point where it was almost manic. Not quite jittery, and not necessarily happy, just.. extreme. So I looked up the side effects and sure enough these are rare, but listed. It also said that caffeine can exacerbate the symptoms, which might explain a lot. (Note to self: Do not take pill with morning vat of coffee.) I’m going to take it for at least this month, and discuss with my midwife if it doesn’t change.

Speaking of midwives, I had the idea to rant about a situation happening in KC, but the truth is, I’m too tired and sort of sad about the whole thing, and don’t have the usual piss-and-vinegar needed to spew some awesome rhetoric. Last year sometime a DO started a practice with a local professional midwife (i.e., one who has hospital rights, as opposed to just a lay midwife not recognized) and it has been a true blessing to the city. They are amazing women (I knew the midwife b/c she taught my doula conference a few years ago and the DO is a former Bradley teacher. Both have had homebirths.) and they are one of the few care providers in KC who trust that women can actually make informed decisions about their own bodies and birth. Apparently, there was an internal hospital complaint about a homebirth transfer the DO attended – that ended with healthy baby and mama, I might add – and consequently she and the midwife’s privileges have been temporarily revoked.

To say this whole thing SCREAMS of political bullshit is an understatement.

These women represented the best scenario thus far of bridging the world of home and hospital births. They are trying to compromise in a business that is already ridiculously illogical, and revoking their privileges is not only a freaking obvious witch hunt, but it’s cruel to the dozens of mamas due, y’know, today. There was a pretty big public outcry, so the hospital announced an emergency meeting to ‘discuss’ the problem, but the damage, so to speak, has already been done. Anyway, it’s just stupidly sad and unnecessary. Grrr it pisses me off to think about it so I’ll just move on.

So I got a job! Huzzah! It’s not the highest hourly rate I probably could earn at this point, but it’s blocks from the house, really laid-back, I don’t have to go and buy a whole new wardrobe and I get to work with a friend. Plus, they’re flexible with me wanting to work part-time so I can transition the kids. I’m excited to start, though I’m feeling incredibly stressed about finding a day care and Jack starting Kindy next week and figuring out the bus schedule and all of that lovely stuff. 🙂 Regardless, this is good. In other news, finally finished the second-round of academic work for Bradley, and hopefully (HOPEFULLY) I’ll be cleared soon to start provisionally teaching. I haven’t done much in the last year with this passion, and I think it will be awesome for me right now, financially and just personally. Pregnancy and birth and babies are da bomb.

[THAT SAID, I am checking the twitter every couple hours, Mist. I’m trying to be patient, but boy howdy am I anxiously awaiting peanut’s arrival.]

Ok. I think that’s all I can think of for now. We have friends coming over to go swimming, so I should go anyway. Happy Thursday everyone!

Lorelei: Sidusler sqjeklru wcsersdlfjwl!

Me: What honey?

Lorelei: Tsdser serkfjwulc

Me:…You want grubs?

Lorelei: Yeah! Gwubs!

***

Apparently The Hoff took Bradley when his wife was preggers. And somehow, sadly, that makes teaching this even cooler than knowing Keifer Sutherland is a Bradley brat.

***

Jack: Are you excited about going to the wedding with Maggie next Friday?

Me: Uh.. there’s no wedding next Friday, honey.

Jack: Well why not?

Me: We don’t know anyone getting married.

Jack: You don’t have any friends?

Me: Yes, we have friends. But none of them are getting married next Friday.

Jack: Well how about Saturday?

Me: Honey, there are no weddings for us to go to anytime soon.

Jack: Well Maggie has a headache, and baby Miles throwed, so she’ll feel better before we go on the plane to the wedding next Friday. We’ll eat hyper ice cream and it will be so much fun!

Me: Whatever you say, goober.

Jack: You stay home while Daddy and Lorelei and Jack goes on the boat to the wedding.

Me: Sounds like a plan!

***

YTT: Proof that my boyfriend is psychic as well.

We decided to extend our trip a couple days, so we’re still in Colorado (and I still may not ever return). Pictures to come. 8)

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Beyond that, the main reason for this post is THIS! Hot damn this is progress! Anita was the midwife who caught Lo, and I’m so happy for her and everyone else in the homebirth community. Really – this is huge, huge news.

So that’s it; we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled nonsense in a few days. Have a good weekend!

Everything you were afraid to ask about Donnie Darko. Interesting stuff. Apparently there’s a rabbit (Watership Down to be exact, you) leitmotif. That movie’s so awesome.

Another reason why elective c-sections are a bad idea. Absolutely I believe there is a necessary place for CSs. It’s not for upwards of 40%* of surgeries though, that’s for damn sure.

I hope I’m not on here anywhere. I have a job interview tomorrow (or at least a test). Wish me luck.

And finally, admit it. You wish you were this hot.

Happy Monday, friends.

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*ETA: Ok, so something else I read recently said 38%, and I had missed that part skimming the article that has it quoted lower. Either way it’s way past ACOG’s recommended 5% or whatever.

Really. Other states do it juuuuuust fine.

Malpractice insurance issue

If I can be there when this:

Asher before

Ends up with this:

Asher after

Birth is miraculous, there’s no other way to look at it.

Congrats Jill, Rich, big sister Adi and new baby Asher!

For real.

No more blog posts until I get the Bradley academic work in.

So I’ll be back either.. tomorrow.. or in three weeks.

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I’ll miss you.

Last week my (future OB) friend, Annie, called me from NY to talk about the morning she’d had. Up there for interviews, she’d met one of the main homebirth back-up doctors featured in Ricki Lake’s documentary The Business of Being Born. That morning they’d had a showing of the movie for the residents and attendings.

A large number of them booed and catcalled during most of the movie.

(Did I mention one of their bosses is featured prominently as an obvious supporter of natural childbirth?)

Annie and I discussed for a long time the inherent polarization of the (vast majority of the) medical community versus natural advocates. And what angered me most with her story was that their behavior was shamefully arrogant and narrow-minded, and it attested to the same kind of patronizing attitudes I’ve encountered in my own experiences as a pregnant mother or doula. That is ridiculous on too many conceivable counts, but I’m not going to get into why, because I think that’s probably obvious no matter where you stand.

So this morning on my local parenting board someone posted last week’s review of the doc featured in Slate. And here’s the thing, I don’t totally disagree with the writer that it’s propaganda. Personally, on one hand, I wish there could be even-handed media to present – in an effort to quell the skeptical bias people already have towards unconventional practices like homebirth. But on the other hand, I totally understand why the movie needs to be so far that direction, because it’s fighting a monstrously large and insipid medical mentality, and it’s the shock value that usually wakes people up and makes them think. (And maybe you’re thinking even my wording’s dramatic, but.. well.. it really is the truth.)

But then the writer gleefully mentions how the director’s eventual breech c-section is a ‘counter argument’ for the cause. And that’s a perfect example of missing the freaking point: Very few people – very few- would say that there is never a need for medical intervention. Obviously this mama and her midwife decided it was time to go to the hospital. ACOG calls for 30 minutes as a window to prepare for a normal section, and when a homebirther transfers, rarely is it the ambulance screeching drama you see in movies. Which is the whole thing, that it doesn’t need to be either/or. The best case scenario would be working in tandem.

Currently it’s (excuse me) a dick waving contest.

But that’s beside the point. I’m frustrated (and resigned) that the reviewer couldn’t really discuss the documentary without her own bias hypocritically shining through. She calls the team out for statistical inconsistencies (the quote about fetal homebirth death rates) yet doesn’t cite the studies. I think I know which one she’s referencing, and the key detail missing there is that all births outside of the hospital are included as a homebirth. So late-term miscarriages, side-of-the-road emergency situations – all are lumped into the category. And there is such an incredible difference between an emergency precipitous birth in the automotive section of Wal-Mart and a planned homebirth. Stating it the way she did is highly disingenuous – and not surprising.

(Propaganda what?)

Really, I could get more steps for my soapbox and give a lengthy diatribe about egos interfering with the supposed main goal of healthy baby and mother blahblahblah, but I won’t. First because I don’t have the energy to get too fired up today, but mostly because I believe that if you are educated, you will make the best decision for your family, whether it’s in a hospital or on the moon. So if this snarky reviewer (and everyone who feels the same way) wants to dismiss the valid points made in the documentary out-of-hand simply because they are different – I mean ‘crockpot’ – well, go for it sister.

It is easier to float along when you choose not to muddle your life with critical thinking.

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