It’s like my thought soup, or something.

I swear I had full intentions to post something coherent today; I even tried to set aside time this week to do it. But I think this will be if not an epic fail, at least a substantial one. I’m sorry. I’ve got myself a tidy little cold, and the only positive thing about it is that being this stuffed up, the acoustics in my head when I sing are uhhmaaazing. Other than that I’m drinking vitamin C-laced hot water like crazy, and walking around in a tired fog.

Let’s see.. Jack and Lorelei started swim lessons last week. The gal who is teaching them is an older Jewish (I’m guessing) ex-New Yawker (pretty sure about this one) who apparently used to run an autism program somewhere. Whatever, she’s hysterical and the best teacher for my particular knuckleheads. She’s very (on par with the above-mentioned stereotypes) no-nonsense, and you could tell she was smitten with Jack’s eagerness, which, if you remember from last year, is a tremendous 180. I’m pretty stoked.

I’m also stoked because I’m headed on over to Colorado next weekend with the kids and my mom and sister for a short trip and SWEET JEEBUS I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I NEED THIS.

In exciting news, in a few weeks I’ll be moving into the little blue house that sits next door to the house I work out of! My boss’s brother owns the house (but lives in CA), and is giving me a pretty sweet deal on rent. I’m so excited to do this I am almost unable to verbalize it. Really. That big. So if you’re free any weekend in the next couple months, let me know. Best of all I get my beloved, cantankerous old-man cat, Lucky, back. That grumpy old goat has been with me for almost 12 years, and I miss him something fierce. I might bring that stupid Oscar too, but I think it’s funny hearing the stories Jon tells me about him knocking over the Britta pitcher at night. (Heh. I kid, I’ll see if I can bring them both.)

[So, in an ADD look-a-squirrel sidenote, I’ve been singing this song non-stop for a few weeks now. It’s Band of Horses – “The Funeral”, and I was convinced it was a side/new project from the lead singer of Sunny Day Real Estate, but it’s not. I’m curious if anyone else thinks they sound the same, though.]

Hmm… Took the kids to the movie Up this weekend and it was.. erm.. disjointed. Odd, mostly. Predictably sweet because it was Pixar, with one particularly sad part, but meh overall. Ironic since they opened with a montage of all the cool movies they’ve made <<scratches head>>. Moving on to television, I’m officially kind of embarrassed to admit that I’ve been watching the first and second seasons of Friday Night Lights. It’s so soap operaish, with every conceivable after-school special theme possible. First season alone they dealt with underage drinking, underage sex, parapalegics, steroids, rape, infidelity, deadbeat dads, deadbeat moms, Alzheimers and football in Texas, of course. But like a fool, I keep watching. Shrug.

(I’m also reading the book  The Stone Diaries for my book club, so that renews some brain cells, right?)

And, I think that just about sums up everything I could think to talk about at the moment, my brain now officially hurts. But as a last appeal, if you help me move I’ll give you some of my totally-stolen-from-Hippy-Chick spaghetti sauce, because it’s da bomb.

Have a great week, everyone.

My brain’s defying gravity.

Sorry, I know that’s super lame. But I hate titles and have the Wicked musical soundtrack in my sleep deprived gourd.

So let’s see.. things are hectic. I’m liking my job pretty well – it can be stupidly crazy at times, but the pace and juggling reminds me of the dinner rush when you’re a server, and consequently time flies when I’m here. Having an office with a door I can shut helps. Did I mention I have AN OFFICE WITH A DOOR AND SOME WINDOWS? Man that’s fun. I feel like such a big girl now.

I took an impromptu trip to Chicago last week to see a band (Antony and the Johnsons, who always seem to be in Europe so this was a coup), and it was amazing. The seats were not the best, and he definitely didn’t push his voice to the registers he does on his albums, but regardless the show is up there as one of the best I’ve seen. He had an incredibly talented band with him (bass guitar, drums, cello and two violinists – one of whom was this kick ass older gal who played the clarinet and sax as well!) and the music was simply beautiful. Unfortunately, I can’t access youtube at work, so you can check out a previously posted  song by him – one of my favorites and the one he encored with, “Hope There’s Someone” –  for now.

We also hit up a bunch of museums and restaurants, most notably Hot Doug’s, for which we stood in line OUTSIDE for OVER AN HOUR in SUBZERO TEMPERATURES. We knew there was a wait for it usually, but hadn’t realized it was recently showcased on Anthony Bourdain’s show, so the line was ridiculous. But sweet jebus the food was worth it. Mmmmmm duck fat fries… But, you know what wasn’t worth it though? Seven Treasures restaurant in Chinatown. Holy shite that was truly the nastiest food I’ve ever attempted to eat. I mean it. The beef was grey, people. And gelatinous. And the broccoli was mushy, and ugh, my stomach’s churning just thinking about it. So.. don’t go there next time you visit, go to the four hundred other places to eat.  But do check out this gallery, it’s pretty cool.

The only other thing that stands out is a suggestion of not getting into a taxi that is not in the very front of the taxi line, because the other drivers in line will go crazy with their horns in protest. It’s comical; they sound like really pissed off geese. But they ain’t kidding around – one poor sap was dumb enough to roll down his window as he passed the other taxis and got an earful.  

So that was it, basically, it was a short trip. I finished Confessions of a Shopaholic (Shhh. I was looking for a silly book to read in my Dramamine-induced drug fog on the plane, but I had no idea it was that friggen bad), and started Wicked and Why Darwin Matters, both of which I’m really enjoying so far. More on the latter later, I’m sure.

And the rest of my colder-than-I-anticipated-considering-I-have-no-coat day consists of trying to jumpstart the brand new – and thoroughly dead – battery in my car. W00t. Pray that it’s not the starter, por favor, I don’t really have the time or moolah for that too.

Hope all is well in your worlds amigos.

Hi

A) This is fracking hilarious. Computer nerd or not.

2. So I made this sauce the other day? Uhhhhmaaaaziiinnngggg. And if you know me, you know I can’t cook. Like at all. So this goes beyond coup to.. I dunno. Orbit. Make it soon, and send money to Miss Chick for royalties.

3) Jack was sent to the principal’s office yesterday for acting out and general fartknockery. Apparently there’s a new para in his class, and he decided this week he was going to test his teacher to see what she would do. Now he knows. I totally get and support the philosophies behind homeschooling, but damn I heart the staff at his school, and it bears repeating again. That probably seems odd considering we’re talking about punishment, but these are social growing pains every child goes through – it’s just a fact – and knowing I am not able to provide what he needs in this arena, this is the best place I could have asked for to support him as he grows. It’s tenuous, interacting and communicating with him, and they are as committed to figuring it out as I am.

4. Top Chef season 5 has started! I have a small crush on Tom Colicchio, though I have to laugh that his bio says he learned to cook with the help of French manuals, and yet he totally derided a contestant last night for suggesting the exact same thing. Maybe I can learn to cook by.. television osmosis?

e) The job I just left involved customized labels being put on bottled water, and this is the new label about to be produced. I think it’s just cool as hell.

Ciao friends! Hope all is well in your worlds!

Who screws up Jiffy corn bread?!

ME! THAT’S WHO!

Funny, I eat the same thing.

(Minus the 30 hours a week of swimming. That might be the difference here.)

Breakfast: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes

Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Hallelujah I made cookies that are edible.

Worth mentioning, I promise. The last time I attempted oatmeal cookies I messed up, surprisingly, and they were bland concrete discs. I seemed to remember that it was b/c I didn’t have an ingredient I needed (or substituted a different sweetener that didn’t bake as well, who knows) so this time I made sure to – wait for it – plan ahead. I looked online for a ‘thin and crispy’ recipe and rounded up the kids for help. After lots of spoon licking and one-in-the-mouth-two-in-the-bowl raisin distribution, the cookies ended up fat and chewy instead. But they taste good, so I’ll take it. I’ve now graduated 1st grade cooking class.

[Total tangent: Let’s take a gander at Brandi’s post, which had the desired effect of making the cookie come back up just a little in my mouth. You’re a clever girl – wait, I mean old lady – but I would like to submit this as an equal entry. (Bring on the Sinbad, H.Pimp.)]

So, how is everyone? Jon’s going out of town next week for a work lake trip (rough, ain’t it?) and so this weekend was completely Jen-centric. On Friday I went to a country concert with my friend Tami.

I don’t listen to country, so the bands themselves were innocuous mostly. But after a couple hours in the sun, the beer began to soften the shock of all the mullets, rebel flags and ill-fitting jeans. And don’t get me wrong, I have a long-standing love for some of my college cowboy friends, but most of the people at this concert were.. uh..

Well it was fun hanging out with Tami. 😉

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Saturday I went for coffee with the girls I’m friends with on the cul-de-sac. I’m glad I made it this month because I’ve missed many of our summer Driveway Drinks recently. I’ve just been a hermit, and it was good to catch up. My good friend across the street had her baby while we were in CO, and I finally got to see him. I LOVE squishy little newborns.

Last night I went to a birthday party with Megatron, and later we met up with her friends – one of whom I knew because he used to work with Jon. KC is so much smaller than you think, I swear.

(I know the angle is dizzying. It’s worse the other direction. I have no idea how this picture was taken.)

Finally, after some cuddly time with the halflings today, we’re going to meet up another family for dinner tonight. And including some overdue phone calls, this has been a really happy weekend for me. I need people almost as much as air, and I know that If I don’t get my head out of my arse and start keeping up my friendships, I’ll lose them. So those of you who think you’re in that camp, hear me say I know that. Playdates, emails and phone calls will be forthcoming, I promise.

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you had a great weekend.

xoxo

We’re back from Codoredo

(Which is what Jack dubbed my uncle’s house. Despite efforts to explain that Codoredo was a state just like Kansas, he insisted otherwise. We also ate at resronks, so whatever. Life is always more interesting in Jack-land.)

And I wish I could have some clever regaling of stories, but the truth is that this place is simply my utopia, and I don’t know how to explain it without bragging about its awesomeness. There are a lot of fun things to do (pool, hot tub, alpacas, batting cage, Rockband, basketball hoop, pool table etc..) but more than that there is the family that makes me laugh. And laugh we did, to the point where my abs were more sore than than my sport-playing arms. We visited a brewery with yummy beer. We went to Red Rocks and Garden of the Gods. We did the Zoo. We made many amazing meals and we drank stupid amounts of beer. Stupid amounts. Mostly we just played and spent time with loved ones.

It was awesome.

So, because I’m still tired, I’m going to post some pics and plug in a song. You can pretend you were there too. Cheers.

Where I get my crunchy card taken away, and other nonsensical bits

So I often add some powdered hot chocolate to my morning jetfuel (Because I’m still a little too I like my sugar with coffee and cream Beastie Boyish, thanks.) and when we have raw goat milk, I’ll add that to it, ala the Big Mac/Diet Coke kind of thinking. Fine. But yesterday, Jack found an old box of Spiderman mac n’ cheese in the pantry –

[Sidenote: Does anyone else think the funky noodle shapes taste different than the regular noodles? How is that?! Why wouldn’t it be the same ingredients as regular noodles, but just stamped into a different mold?!]

– and demanded to eat it for lunch. To assuage some of my guilt I only put in half the cheese packet, and added some ingredients from the fridge in hopes of creating some semblance of health. Ok, great.

So. This morning, after making my delicioso 7-step coffee, I randomly grabbed for the half packet of chocolate left over from yesterday – you know where this is going – and instead dumped the rest of the craptastic powdered cheese into my gloriously oversized mug. Luckily, I noticed I was stirring around BRIGHT ORANGE, and some synapse fired enough to recognize that Houston had a problem.

Alas, the day was not ruined, because making that complicated coffee means we always have a lot left over. And the second go-round was much more smooth. But that still should be a lesson for JON to NOT BUY SPIDERMAN MAC’NCHEESE AT THE STORE. BECAUSE IT DOESN’T EVEN TASTE GOOD ANYWAY.

Let’s see. How is everyone? Things are pretty good here. Oscar is pretty much 100% healed. He has a hella scar running up his belly with staples in it, and I’m considering calling him Zip(per) from now on. Or, Oscar the WonderMoron. Or Economy Stimulus Check. Whichever.

Jon is donating bone marrow next week b/c he is a match for someone, and that is so ridiculously cool. I’m not sure what all it entails, but truly, we should all be so lucky there are people out there who would do something so painful and altruistic. You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.

For those of you who know of my long-standing fascination with the West Memphis Three case, I was directed to this video yesterday that sums it up much more quickly than the two documentaries. Go. Watch. Get involved. I cried yesterday thinking not only of the injustice, but the arbitrariness of HBO getting involved in the first place. It scares me to think of all the other backwoods, backassward trials slipping through the cracks.

That Alex Barton thing I (and eleventybillion other people) wrote about has literally exploded, due to the outrage of the autism community. As per usual I’m slightly irritated that autism is the main reason it caught national attention, but it has opened a huge path for discussion of neurodiversity, which is stupidly overdue. Again (againagainagain), I’m not wholly sure I can be in either camp, but enlightenment is still progress, obviously.

I am digging on this song, big time.

I finished the book Middlesex last week. I think it’s a great choice for everyone; it has a lot of underlying themes that can be discussed thoroughly. Plus, I get the impression that the author might be the type who wrote a cool story but didn’t actually mean for it to be that purposely layered. Who knows. It’s the guy who wrote The Virgin Suicides, and it’s a cool book anyway, despite his goofy jacket picture.

Only 23 days until we leave for Colorado. Hu-freaking-zah, I’m deliriously excited. I hate summer in Kansas.

I think that’s it. Love to all.

Thisisthelongestmonthever

Things I could tell you about for this stupid NaBloPoMo:

I finally got my head out of the sand and have started some therapy. Things are currently both more clear and much more difficult for me. I’m really not liking that she’s pulling out some old things I’d like to stay buried, but I think it probably is necessary. It takes courage to do this stuff, and I’m not always sure I’ve got enough in supply.

I can admit to you how much I want to eviscerate this man; how primal the feeling is. But I acknowledge that if mental health really is in question, it can’t wholly be black and white, no matter how disloyal that seems to that innocent girl.

I can tell you how much that song I posted a few days ago actually makes my heart hurt, even though I don’t connote it with any particular situation – it’s just that beautiful of a song to me. And again, I don’t understand people who don’t like music. It’s completely antithetical to me.

I can talk about how my next birthing mama called me yesterday with what ended up being false contractions, and I couldn’t go with her to check it out, and I felt like a horrible doula. It’s been a long time since I’ve attended a birth, and I’m so ready for this one. Birth is miraculous, and everything comes down to simply that.

I can remind you that today Jack starts riding the bus home, and even though it’s only a block and he’s been in ‘school’ for two years now, the thought makes me cry. He is my baby. My almost-Kindergarten-aged sweet boy, and he’s riding a school bus. It’s inexorably linked to growing up in my mind.

I could attempt to describe the stupidly-delicious burgers we had last night when Brandon came to watch some more Wire, but words fail me. Best burger ever, I promise. Really. I told him I was going to steal the recipe and add it to my three-dish repertoire.

Likewise, this song played on rotation during dinner, and has been in my head since.

Polyphonic Spree’s “Light & Day/Reach for the Sun”

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So that about sums up what’s on my brain today.

Have a good day everyone. 😉

A list of lists to list this month

(Whooee we are only a week into this! Tired of it yet? Because you know my cleverness knows no bounds, right?)

1. Favorite movies

2. Favorite songs

3. All the names starting with J that we could have named Lorelei if we hadn’t luckily realized with Jacoby we were starting a matchy-matchy name theme.

4. People from my past I’d like to catch-up on now.

5. Theories why when you cross over State line from KS to MO the drivers somehow get dumber, if that’s possible.

6. Why the following people must be in on the joke, because there is just no way in hell they could be taken seriously by anyone, ever, they are so ridiculous: Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, Ann Coulter, Andrew W.K., Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Michael Moore, Tucker Carlson – just to name a few.

7. Why I love Matt Damon.

8. Words I can never remember how to spell correctly.

9. Words I just can’t remember the definition of.

10. Truths and misconceptions of autism as I know it.

11. Why simple math eludes me completely.

12. Why giving 26 vaccines in the first 6 months of life may not be a good idea.

13. Foods I love.

14. Theories on what’s genetically missing from me that I love to eat and hate the kitchen.

15. Books I love.

16. Best fictional characters of all time in the media.

17. Songs I like to karaoke, or at least watch be sung by drunk people.

18. Ways I wish I would be a better person.

19. Reasons I think I should give myself a break.

20. People I admire, and why.

Things I dislike very strongly

(We don’t use ‘hate’ in this house, but my eyeball hurts, so it feels like a pouty start to the morning. 😉 )

1. Idiot drivers

2. Seeing dogs on the side of the highway

3. Narrow-minded fools who have lost the ability to really have empathy

4. That there’s no regulation for credit companies

5. Inexplicable charges on the cell phone bill

6. Sucky servers in restaurants (unless I can tell they are totally overwhelmed)

7. Pre-recorded political phone calls

8. The band Jane’s Addiction

8b. (Tied with Mariah Carey and Oasis)

9. People judging my decisions on how to parent Jack’s autism

10. Onions

More Things I Love

(Yeah, yeah it’s a lovefest. Tomorrow I’ll write a downer, I promise.)

1. JON and my family and my friends and anyone else who felt even secretly left out of yesterday’s short list. 😉

2. Being the Kansas tester for this, getting it in the mail yesterday, and loving it. Keep up on this strong mama, folks, and order her chocolate. It’s good stuff.

3. Having my freelance writing submission picked up. Hoodilolly I am so excited and validated and scared shitless! And I can’t tell you about it, but I’d love some clever writing vibes sent my way. Tanksalot.

4. Having my wonderful aunt record my grandparents’ memories of their lives. She is one of those people who actively does what everyone says in those lazy moments they’d like, and as my grandparents age further, these recordings will be even more invaluable to all of us.

5. Getting my latest copy of Mothering in the mail. There was an article in there on how to follow your instinct even if your parenting has you swimming upstream. And though it was meant as support for those who get worn down from judgment, it actually just reminded me of how proud I am of myself. My philosophy is (for the most part) not mainstream, and of course if you know me you know I love being different because of it. But if it weren’t legit, I would have doubts. But I don’t – and never have – and that is the litmus to me that at least in this area I’m a confident adult with independent ideas. (Props, Mom, ya done well.)

6. That Passenger song over there <—. I can’t keep it up forever, but I’m sure enjoying it right now.

7. Coffee. I can’t believe it missed inclusion yesterday. It’s up there with.. air.

Things I love

1. Rain and wind whistling around the house

2. Sleep

3. Black and Tans

4. The way Jack puckers-up so purposefully when he gives you a kiss

5. The way songs have a time-capsule ability to keep memories within them

6. French toast

7. Driving around to think

8. Spending time with my uncle and his family in Colorado

9. Learning new words

10. Good Will Hunting