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For a couple of weeks now I’ve had a piece of paper in my car where I write down personalized license plates that catch my eye. This stems from the fact that for being such a word nerd, I am (embarrassingly) confused by these combinations like, a lot. I don’t know if I’m just so rigid in my grammar rules that it takes me a while to think outside the box, or what, but it’s comical – to me but especially those riding in the car with me – just how stumped I get.  And, it’s a pet peeve of mine when people personalize their plates with messages no one gets – so  imagine how frustrating it is for me to not know whose fault it is when I can’t get it. Heh.

So, the following is the list I have compiled.  Some are obvious, some I’ve figured out with help. The rest, please scratch the itch and help a sister out.

Gracias and happy Friday.

1. LUVBYTZ  (duh)

2. GDKARMA (good karma)

3. HALFPT (half pint)

4. NZOHNTR

5. GOBDGRS (go badgers)

6. NSHERIF

7. DOSHIE

8. BEANCHF (bean chef? bean chief? WTH?)

9. OPENBSD (some programming language or something)

10. GRAVIE

11. GRMAPPI

12. SPRBLNG (super bling?)

13. VEGAN (duh)

14. VZBEGIM

15. WARWON (whose war?)

16. NVMYMPG (Had to get past ‘Nevada’ for this one. Saw that it was on a hybrid and finally ‘envy’ clicked. I’m such a dork.)

17. JESUS (I *so* want to know how they got this. They were very elderly, so I suppose it’s possible they were the first people in Kansas to ever drive, thus getting first dibs..)

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1. Jack is ebbing again, in that he’s being a TOTAL PAIN IN MY ASS the last few days. I love him with a ferocity I’ve never known was possible – I know I’ve mentioned that – but he is the single most contrary human I’ve ever had the pleasure of spending every waking moment with. He argues when he wants something. He argues when he doesn’t want something. He argues if he feels something is unjust or unfun or just for fun.

He argues when he agrees with you. I’m really not kidding.

And it’s hard, because I know he’s not even always unhappy when he does it. Sure, he reacts to the stress he senses around him, but I think in part it’s his natural personality from.. erm.. grandparental bloodlines, and also as residual habit from when he first was navigating social interaction altogether. He is not a natural cuddler, but wants attention (as everyone does) so pressing everyone’s buttons around him ensures a modicum of it. I get it.

Regardless, he’s driving me nuts and I’m not in an awesome place with my autism parenting right now. It will pass, like every phase has, but one of us might not make it out unscathed from this one, that’s all I’m sayin’..

2. Lo has discovered the joys of whining. To which I say really, karma? REALLY?

3. I was shown an article today about a local newscaster’s wife being paralyzed by the flu vaccine – and the subsequent trial in vaccine court. This one’s particularly fascinating to me as someone who has such an aversion to the propaganda every year, it’s nauseating.

4.  Here’s a follow-up article telling that the Neo-Nazi family has had their children taken away by social services. I know we all had a nice pat-on-our-back rant about why they probably are d-bags, but I sincerely hope those kids needed to be yanked for legitimate reasons, and not because of the limelight they were in. Three and under. Oy. That’s so very little to be away from their parents, it breaks my heart.

5.  Saw Gran Torino last weekend. Hmm.  It was on many people’s Best Of lists, and my friend Justin really liked it, so I’ll just say I must have missed something. .. Both times I watched it.

6. My back is at about 90% at this point, which is relieving. Now I just need to go back to the gym, because despite herculean efforts to not eat the bagel with cream cheese that’s calling to me, the scale is reflecting my absence.

7.  It’s 2°.  Four hours ago it was 1°.  Toasty!

So the following account for yesterday’s Google search hits:

watermelon

kids n . aked

asperger

converse smell

funny sings

ksu basketball

spring card

purple high heels

anyone else but you youtube

christopher kennedy, mortgage, colorado

play violin avatar lady

what to do when your parents find your p

mumbi terror attack seesay

toothpaste for dinner where is my coffee

leopard cage

dog bite

Hm. I’m certain I’ve never written the word Mumb(a)i; there are some sick, sick people out there and I, too, am curious what to do when your parents find your p… heh.

If you ever plan to leave your wallet in any restaurant in KC, try and time it for Barley’s off Midland Drive in Shawnee. Not only will you actually GET the wallet back, but it will have your birthday money in it still.

And they have good beer, so it’s a win-win, really.

Lorelei: Sidusler sqjeklru wcsersdlfjwl!

Me: What honey?

Lorelei: Tsdser serkfjwulc

Me:…You want grubs?

Lorelei: Yeah! Gwubs!

***

Apparently The Hoff took Bradley when his wife was preggers. And somehow, sadly, that makes teaching this even cooler than knowing Keifer Sutherland is a Bradley brat.

***

Jack: Are you excited about going to the wedding with Maggie next Friday?

Me: Uh.. there’s no wedding next Friday, honey.

Jack: Well why not?

Me: We don’t know anyone getting married.

Jack: You don’t have any friends?

Me: Yes, we have friends. But none of them are getting married next Friday.

Jack: Well how about Saturday?

Me: Honey, there are no weddings for us to go to anytime soon.

Jack: Well Maggie has a headache, and baby Miles throwed, so she’ll feel better before we go on the plane to the wedding next Friday. We’ll eat hyper ice cream and it will be so much fun!

Me: Whatever you say, goober.

Jack: You stay home while Daddy and Lorelei and Jack goes on the boat to the wedding.

Me: Sounds like a plan!

***

YTT: Proof that my boyfriend is psychic as well.

Sorry kids. It’s hard trying to be profound everyday. Especially when your brain drooled out your ear when your daughter kicked you in the head to wake you up this morning. SO, here’s a survey stolen from Misty (via Jamie via someone else, I’m guessing. Though someone had to have created these originally. So maybe props stop with Jam.).

1. Favorite hobby?

Um. Reading, I s’pose.

2. How do you feel about your ex?

Fine. I don’t really feel anything.

3. Do you own guns?

No. But I’m not wholly against them, either.

4. What flavor do you usually drink at Sonic?

Eh. I don’t like Sonic much, but I guess the cherry limeade?

5. Do you get nervous before doctor’s appts?

Not really.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

I think they’re foul unless I’m at a baseball game or camping.

7. Favorite Christmas song?

O Holy Night

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

A big ole mug of coffee, with lots of milk and sweetness added.

9. Can you do push ups?

I can. Maybe a dozen or so.

10. Can you do a chin up?

Ugh. I doubt it.

12. Do you like blue cheese?

Sometimes.

13. Ever been in a car wreck?

Ha. Yes. The real question is how many ambulances have I had called for my wrecks.

14. Do you have ADD?

Only when listening to songs.

15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?

I’m lazy. And shamefully ignorant in war history – so I discovered during a painful game of Trivial Pursuit last week.

16. Middle name?

Marie

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.

My 16 y/o cousin schooled me in Trivial Pursuit.

I really need to make some coffee.

The air blowing from the vent on my arm is pissing me off.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.

Pop, drinks, chicken

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink.

Coffee, water, beer

20. Current worry?

Ahhh. Let me count the ways..

21. Current hate right now?

Uh. The only things I can think of off the top of my head are slow drivers and the fact that I saved my stupid cat’s life, and now I just want to kill him.

22. How did you bring in the new year?

Eating sushi and hanging with friends. It was fun.

23. Where would you like to be right now?

Either getting a massage or taking a nap in the mountains. Maybe both.

24. Do you like bok choy?

I don’t know.

25. Do you own slippers?

No. My feet get hot easily, so the most I’ll wear around the house is socks in the winter.

26. What shirt are you wearing?

A soft t-shirt that says Tree Hugger.

27. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?

Sure. But not if I have satiny jams on, b/c then they’d get all twisted up and annoying.

28. Can you whistle?

Yup.

29. Could you be a pirate?

Uh. What?

30. What songs do you sing in the shower?

Whatever’s in my head.

31. Favorite girl’s name

Lorelei Elizabeth

32. Favorite boy’s name

Jacoby Ryan

33. What’s in your pocket?

No pockets on yoga pants.

34. Last thing that made you laugh?

A conversation on chat.

35. Best bedsheets as a child?

No idea.

36. Worst injury you ever had?

Knocked my kneecap off to the side, and then had to pop it back on. That hurt like a beyotch. More than childbirth, in fact.

37. Do you like where you live?

Sure.

38. How many TVs in the house?

3

39. Who is your loudest friend?

Andy Backhus

40. Favorite book?

To Kill a Mockingbird. I swear.

41. Favorite sports team?

Mmm. Wildcats and the Avs from a few years ago.

42. Song you want played at your funeral?

It changes daily. I have a hundred songs.

43. Favorite candy?

Snickers!

44. Does someone have a crush on you right now?

My cat thinks I am the sun and the moon. Too bad I want to give him away for being annoying.

45. What is the first thing you thought of this morning?

Damn. She just kicked me in the head.


We leave Sat. morning (YEEEHAW) but I’m hoping I’ll be able to write a real post tomorrow with concrete thoughts and ideas in it. No promises.

Today is mostly for those who subscribe to Google Reader. The stupid thing never shows the music I embed, so if I mention music (e.g., yesterday), there’s a high chance you could hear it if you just clicked to open the page. Also, it doesn’t update if I find a typo, so assume that whatever you read has already been fixed by my supreme editing skills. Snort.

(Damn Google. So close to perfect otherwise.)

ttyl

Considering I drive a mid-size SUV. But it still made me laugh thinking of all the Hummers around here who must be spending stupid amounts to drive around and look cool.

Ahh schadenfraude, I’ll take you however I can..

So my first appt with this potential company was just some testing. And I had a relatively eventful experience with all of it that I was already internally blogging about while driving home (something I fill my thinking-time with often, along with creating dance routines ala Girls Just Want to Have Fun, to be completely honest) when it hit me that.. uh… maybe it wouldn’t be wise to do, y’know?

So I’ll just smile and say I look forward to the interview.

But I CAN tell you that in the 5 years I’ve been out of the professional loop, I’d forgotten just how much congested traffic pisses me off. For those in KC, the company is located PAST THE STADIUMS, so it’s a freaking haul from my house. And the worst is that I encountered all local driving stereotypes rolled into one: a tail-riding Range Rover with blue plates. And as we rounded 435 E to N, I was having to use all my willpower not to slam on my brakes. I didn’t, partially because I’m trying to grow up and not get shot as a result of road rage, but mostly because I didn’t have time for a wreck. So he zoomed past me, I single-saluted him, and I went back to choreographing Outkast.

A few minutes later I saw a motorcycle cop on the side of the road openly gunning all of us. And as per usual I yelled SHIT and tapped the brakes. I do that instinctively, regardless of where I am or how fast I’m going. I just assume I’m speeding, because the vast majority of the time I am. And in fact I was going 77 in a 65. I hadn’t purposely gone 12 over, but I hadn’t bothered to figure out what the limit was, either. So knowing I was tagged, I waited to see the other cop. Sure enough, I saw him pull out ahead and start to slow down (me sighing in resignation) right about the time I saw him flip the lights. Turns out he wasn’t getting me after all.

He wanted my good buddy the Range Rover.

Ahhhh sweet, sweet justice.

And that’s my story. Not very worthy of a blog post, I know, but if I can’t tell you about Queen Bee yet, this’ll have to do. The job title is IT Systems Analyst/QA, but really it’s tech writing with some QA thrown in. I’m apprehensive, but excited. Keep sending good vibes and prayers, grazie.

I’ll write about my heart breaking thinking about the kids in daycare full time later; I need to wake up Uno so he’s not up all night.

Ciao amici.


So this is my lazy substitute today.

We had a fun and busy weekend, and I’m tired. I should be embarrassed about doing this, but meh, I think these are fun. Basically you use google or photobucket or whatever, type in the question and use the first picture shown. Heregoes:

1. First name?

2. Hometown?

3. Favorite color?

4. Celebrity crush?

5. Favorite drink?

6. Dream vacation?

7. Indulgance?

8. Want to be when you grow up?

9. Favorite actor?

10. One word to describe yourself?

11. Eye color?

12. Vehicle you drive?

13. Biggest fear?

14. Favorite professional athlete?

15. Favorite memory?

Sigh.

Look, all I need is a pair of khakis. I’ve got to get dressed up tonight, and I quite literally have nothing that stays on my butt anymore, which is awesome, but frustrating, because it’s tacky to wear yoga pants everywhere. I just want a classy pair of nice pants. I don’t want beige cargoes, I don’t want beige cords. I WANT KHAKIS. I’d even settle for beige linen, really. I just need nice pants to wear mkay?

I don’t need them so high-waisted that they’re under my armpits. I don’t want pleats (really, no one wants pleats, would you learn that already?) and I don’t want wide leg – I think only Barbie or Heidi Klum can pull that off somehow. I am of average size and height, and it’s only April (i.e., an appropriate season). Yet I’ve been to four stores and somehow ended up with black pants. What am I missing here? Is there some sort of fashion boycott I don’t know about? Is this some cosmic manipulation to get me to spend a whole paycheck at Banana Republic? Surely there’s a better way.

Please. Don’t make me go to the mall.

Please just make a pair of simple (and slimming, if I’m really taking advantage of the demand) and reasonably-priced khakis. If you do this I promise to tell everyone I know and you will make a lot of money. OK? Please? Like, in an hour?

Many thanks,

Jen

(called Bonk Bonk)

Visit the site, and simply click your mouse within the circle, where the particles are swirling. Try clicking in different locations, or multiple clicks in one location, or try moving your cursor around in quick circles, holding the left mouse button down, and then abruptly releasing it. The effect is really quite beautiful.

The last day and I really have nothing to say. But this technically is a post, so there ya go.

NaBloPoMo done and done.

american-political-process.gif

(Everybody loves a little Toothpaste For Dinner.)

(i.e., randomly and falling off the tracks everywhere.)

I just realized tomorrow is the last day for the NaBloPoMo. I keep thinking of it as a finish line, like it was some sort of grueling marathon for me. But then I remember that this was a challenge to talk. Every day. About whatever I want. Which.. uh.. have you met me? That’s not a challenge, that’s me breathing.

Anyway, my lazy Sunday post was going to just be this picture, because I’m unabashedly in love with cute animals and cheesy captions.

funny-pictures-shakespeare-ape.jpg

BUT! Luckily, this is not a total brain waste, because giggling at this picture reminded me of a really cool article I read today in our Nat’l Geographic. So I’ll also post that to redeem all of us.

As a last note, please do read the Pharma piece I linked yesterday. I’ve never read anything that validated so clearly why I’m simply not crazy. And the truth is, I really believe if you read that whole thing and still disagree with my skepticism, well.. I think you’d have to be in denial. So please take the time, not just to humor me, but because it needs to be heard.

Smooches, friends. You know I bug you because I care. 😉

It’s getting more difficult to call him my boyfriend, people.

First Sarah Silverman and now this? Sigh.

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